Barack Obama's New Campaign Song
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Artist:
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Track:
Okay, maybe some older voters - some - might be a bit turned off, but everyone south of 60, or a whole lot of them, are going to go nuts. We might have to trim some of the lyrics out - "Shake your paranoia," "Dancing like Madonna"... Actually all you need to loop is the basic hook, and maybe get A440 to tweak the lyrics ever, ever so slightly (my hunch is they would be thrilled to comply).
I see Ted Kennedy at the DNC in Denver preparing the audience for Obama's grand acceptance speech. If his medical condition permits, I see him going into a sort of "whooping up the crowd"-schtick; no podium. No standing still and addressing the crowd in solemn tones. Nothing too theatrical, no shrieking "Are you ready to rock!?' or anything like that, but pacing the stage, getting the audience curious and excited. The lights start to go down, the opening guitar riff of this song starts playing. Kennedy disappears offstage, unnoticed. Maybe some strobe lights, and a little shower of glittering confetti, building up the excitement...
And just as Obama steps out, he's hit with a tight blue spotlight. They're already calling him a rock star, so he can just smile and wave, looking friendly, amused, maybe a little embarrassed at being made such a fuss of. And as he begins walking to the podium (which will have risen silently from beneath the stage, unnoticed when the lights went down), the lyrics kick in:
Stop
Barack
Can't stop Barack
You can't stop
Barack
Can't stop Barack
[REPEAT]
I mean, come on. People loved it when Bill Clinton made his '92 campaign song "Don't Stop" by Fleetwood Mac. Remember that? I was there at the convention that year, and believe me, it was sheer joy on every face. "Happy Days Are Here Again" just didn't get people to open their eyes anymore, but "Don't Stop" said something new was coming, something cool, something people felt excited about. This song would have an even more exciting effect, would make people laugh and pump their fists at the same time, and Fox News, bound by their rigid policy of unfairness and distortion, would have no choice but to spend at least the whole morning doing their King Canute impression: sitting on the beach ordering the tide not to come in. Maybe a tsunami.
Oh; I was also thinking about adapting The Gap Band's "You Dropped a Bomb on Me" (with the new line "You dropped Obama on me"), but I think this one would get the crowd more worked up.
Has anyone thought of any good McCain campaign songs? I've been trying, and finding nothing...
Locating MOG account...
Comments (14)
McCain album title: 'Old Ways'
Holy friggin dwarf testicles -> The Prodigal Z-HAR has returned for a bit of a satirical carpet ride here ->
I like Obama's campaign ideas -> "Let's sit on our bony arse's (unless you're a true american) and watch the world destroy itself"
oh, and back to the dwarf testicles -> any man or woman brave enough to include midgets or dwarves in groin-cloths and helmets sporting viking type horns deserves a chance. Throw the common americans to the wolves, let them run themselves with a fine print at the bottom of the cause, "We will stretch our military all over the planet like the game of risk, watch as Vladimir Putin starts rolling his 'weighted' dice and entering territory we thought we could handle."
It's like Russia, USSR, Ice continent, whatever it is really called, they are a giant wild polar bear who is allergic to the Fu$%#$% cold and are angrily ravaging the rest of the planet, while we've pulled the eyes over our own eyes saying we're the strongest country militarily when really we're the equivalent of a grisly who has been raised in captivity and play with our balls while having dead fish fed to us by some girl scout tree hugger in tight khaki shorts, thinking we can handle any adversity but forgetting we've never actually seen what our opponents can really do -> Ever played Mike Tyson's punch Out?? for original nintendo? I have, and we're about to look at eye level and see the crotch of the likes of SodaPopInski or the Sandman or maybe even Tyson himself, and we're just this poor little white teenager who runs behind a fat guy who can't even ride a bike 1 mile downhill, and we think we've been trained ->
How long do you think it's going to take to get our troops mobilized from 30 different countries.
Movie Quote "You want me on that wall, You NEED me on that wall." So you stand around here with your faggoty white uniform on, go to your parades, have marching band practice and we'll call you a soldier.
Do you think the military's of other countries train band members? accountanats? There all friggin ready to jump in a tank and fight in any condition this earth has got to throw at them -> Yeah, I feel safe with either jackass behind the wheel of our country ->
Mccain & Obama have reduced this political race to the dirty backbiting of a 3rd grade dodgeball game, name calling and degrading each other, thinking if they can make the other look REALLY bad compared to themselves, they will win the election. Obviously neither have broken down and told the principal yet and cried themselves to sleep at night as so many kids from my elementary schools did after getting hit in the face with a vapor-trailing red rubber ball thrown by me, the biggest kid in the class, and being made fun of when they had to go clean their own blood up after the game...
-> Let me see who is more qualified, has either stood up and shown their resume of leadership, anything relevant to what is actually going to be expected from the winner of this election?? 1.) yeah, they both know some pretty dirty people willing to print nasty campaign adds 2.) yeah, they both know how to completely ignore a question and make it look like they actually answered it and tricked the reporter to moving on to the next question. 3.) Yeah, they both wear a plastic smile and know when to send their spokesperson for their campaign out and apologize for some of their really outlandishly childish stunts ->
Z-HAR -> great to hear from you bro, is your next post going to be about religion?? Or can you work that battle into your next comment?
YES -> You rock -> flippy tune too.
I can't get past the thought of Ted Kennedy being a "Hype man".
Regardless of context, a highy entertaining track. The Clintons and Fleetwood Mac were always perfect for each other, weren't they?
For McCain, I'd suggest Kris Kristofferson's "Love Is The Last Thing To Go." It starts with a spoken introduction in which Kristofferson recalls the words of boxer Willie Pep (and I am paraphrasing here) that when you box, the first thing to go is your eyes, then your reflexes, then your friends...
Hey, guys. I missed you!
Sorry for the extended absence, but without going into too very great detail, my computer was hacked early last June, and hacked good. All my information, all my writings (and needless to say I never made back-up copies, confident that these sorts of things happen only to other people), credit cards, emails - even my text messages from my iPhone were swiped. Anyway, a really cool friend of a friend who works for Apple agreed to come and do some cyberforensics and bulk up my defenses. I have identified the hacker with almost 100% certainty, and it was an inside job. Emails and texts were sent out in my name to embarrass me and / or friends of mine (thankfully, the hacker's 4th grade spelling and grammar was in most cases easily recognized as someone else's). It was an upsetting violation to say the very least, and until just recently, I refused to visit any site at all that required me to sign in. No AOL, no facebook, no amazon, no MOG.
But I now stride confidently back into cyberspace, glad to share my cyberthoughts with my cyberfriends.
Jonh: I'm glad you were the first to welcome me back; thank you. I was thinking perhaps a counterpart to "You Can't Stop Barack" might be "Who'll Stop McCain" (you know; "Who'll Stop the Rain"). But it's really not rousing enough. And it kind of makes him sound like something you want someone to stop...
Tyler Durden, you nut! I don't recall Obama saying "Let's sit on our bony arse's (unless you're a true american) and watch the world destroy itself," but that's not the kind of strategy I'm guessing he'd pursue. I might have missed a news cycle related to the presidential race and midgets in viking helmets and loincloths, but if I did I certainly regret it. But you're quite right; almost since it came into existence, America has made a very frequent habit of war - we've fought 222 of them, I recall reading somewhere, and only six were officially declared by Congress, which alone possesses the authority to declare war (216, in other words - including the current ones in Afghanistan and Iraq - were literally illegal, and the presidents who ordered soldiers into them are war criminals). Probably the most nakedly bloodthirsty president of them all was Teddy Roosevelt (on whom McCain claims to model himself), whose every utterance on the subject of war made it sound like a tremendous blessing to all who were lucky enough to participate. I'm not completely certain, but I believe it was H.G. Wells who said "Mankind was not there to see the beginning of the earth, but we may well be there to see the end." Glad you liked the song!
Uffin: I didn't mean to portray him as a "Hype man," but just a rousing introductory speaker - he was one of the earliest prominent political figures to endorse Obama, he's going to be one of the only US Senators whose name anyone will remember after he dies, and he is, of course an especially sympathetic figure at this point - his bitterest political enemies and critics won't dare say a word against him now. But hey; it doesn't necessarily have to be TK; I'm just spinning a scenario.
ivylander, I wish I could think of something that good without spending hours crouched in front of shelves.
zarpex, what a relief to find you still with us. Our lull here is now over. "Stop the Rock" and your overall vision of its presentation wins my vote.
I'm so glad you liked the song, Ivy, and although of course there are innumerable separate factors and decisions that contribute to a political victory, I would bet an entire box of Count Chocula cereal that if the Clintons had stuck to "Happy Days Are Here Again," they'd have lost. Remember there were not two but three genuinely electable candidates in '92, each of whom had held at one point or another during the campaign a significant lead in the polls.
I'm having no luck finding that Kris Kristofferson song, but I'll keep an eye out.
Oh; and maybe a tiny modification to the same Obama song could be used by McCain, now that I think of it:
Stop
Iraq
Can't stop Iraq
You can't stop
Iraq
Can't stop Iraq
[REPEAT]
Aww, Spike; I appreciate that. I'm delighted to be back in your company, too, and very pleased you liked the song. : )
I can see McCain rallying the votes with "Let's party like it's 1999".
Please, let Teddy drive him to the convention.
That would be partying like it's 1969. :-P
Mccain can always use the tune "Twist & Shout" -> "I've got Gout"
or Old Milli Vanilli song "Blame it on McCain, yeah yeah"
Yes, Yes, I am a nut -> Let's all get together next week in Hawaii for a round of Golf Eh?
I abandoned golf in despair about five years ago, but MAN, a week in Hawaii sounds good...
Yeah, I hear you, after being stuck in Maryland for a friggin year and a half -> quote from Mr. Spitz this morning -> "holding Tiger Woods' golf clubs won't make you any better at golf" -> refering to the uproar about technological doping, pointing out that A.) what the FU&$ is technological doping (I used to huff DUST OFF, a computer aerosol cleaner) and B.) how can one have the advantage if the swimsuit is available to ALL swimmers?? although destroying a world record by ten seconds is astounding, Phelps is a grand old drink of water, what is he like 7'6"? 1 of his strokes is like 4 of his Chinese counterpart
I said all that to say this -> VIVA LA ALHOHALIKI IN HAWAII, I'll be the only butthole wearing camo cargo shorts and a shirt sitting by a tent on the beach...and I look like a beached whale at 6'4" and 300lbs, took a lot of work to get my supermodel-like physique, don't question my methods dammit ->
Love it when people get the lyrics wrong and start putting their own in.
Our favourite ones are the sleeve notes from Japanese copies - in 'Stop The Rock' the lyrics 'Aphrodite at the Waterhole' were translated as 'Let's have fun at the Carnival'!