MOG

Did you hear that new joke-rock album by "Black Mountain?" Hilarious! What? Isn't a joke? Huh...

But seriously, folks, this album kinda sucks. I don't want to so blatantly talk shit. I mean, the guys are talented musicians for sure; they could very definitely rock your ass off, but their new one, In the Future, just feels like fabricated leather. What I'm trying to say here is that the album has its moments, but unfortunately that's about all it has: moments. It doesn't have the constant rock bliss of some of the bands they may be trying to assimilate. I'll be the first to say that Paranoid gets a little goofy at times, and fuck it, even The Number of the Beast can be kinda squirrely, but In the Future doesn't quite have the balls to cling to in its lower moments with which such previously mentioned classics were blessed.

Black Mountain recorded an EP back in '04 called Druganaut which headed their record deal with Jagjaguwar Records, with whom they realeased their first, self-titled album in '05. This debut LP blessed them with a place in the industry that would lead to a tour with Coldplay, a place on Amazon.com's list of the Top 100 Bands of '05, and even a track on the Spider-Man 3 soundtrack, resulting in that tragic tattoo that Tobey Maguire got, a "BL" on one buttcheek and "CK" on the other, resulting (with a little imagination) in the word "BLaCK" on his Mountainous ass. Okay, I made that up; sorry, I just think Tobey Maguire is a dill doe.

Anyway, things seemed to be on the up and up for these guys, leading to many subsequent projects. As of now, they head a group out of their hometown of Vancouver, Canada called Black Mountain Army, a collective of musicians, artists and friends which, despite the evil connotations, sounds like a serious crew of Ren-Faire nerds to me. That could be, of course, due to my own Canadian/evil preconceptions. Their lead singer, Stephen McBean, is also the lead man for a band called Pink Mountaintops. The jury's still out on whether this is actually Black Mountain's homosexual alter ego. I'll get back to you on that one. Three of the members of Black Mountain also work for an organization that helps the living situations for the chronically poor, drug-addicted and mentally ill in an area of Vancouver that is considered the heroin capitol of Canada and maybe even all of North America.

Despite all of these other projects, Black Mountain managed to produce In the Future and, although I respect the fact that they're heavy in activities, can't help but wonder if they're spread a little thin. The album could have been a bit more than a blatant attempt to be epic (a 17 minute-long song? come, now) — more of something worth throwing legitimate horns to. Then again, what the hell do I know? I still listen to Ace of Base. True story.