trigger - Untouchables Show Beatdown, Bring It!

Untouchables Show Beatdown, Bring It!

Artist: The Untouchables

Untouchables show at Humboldt State University 1990. I was doing the requisite collegiate crowd surfing and my foot inadvertently hit someone in the head. It seemed like it hurt from the look on the guy's face. I felt bad.

I was up close to the front and a security guard (aka amped up college student) who saw the whole thing pulled me in and punched me in the face. Told me if I ever did anything like that again he would kick me out. Oh shit, it's on muthafucka.

I'm back in the crowd and I have a plan. The security guard is wearing a baseball cap. I'm going to sneak up to him and grab his cap. When he comes looking for it, I'll hold it up and he'll come over. Then my muscle packed friend Ken and I will kick his ass when he comes to get it.

Okay, I sneak up, grab his cap, and retreat back into the crowd. Success! Sure enough, he's scanning the crowd to see where the hell his cap went.

"Okay" I tell Ken. "When he comes over, we're gonna kick his ass!" "What?" Ken says. "WE'RE GONNA KICK HIS ASS !" I shout. "Huh?" Fuck. Ken can't hear me and doesn't understand what's going on. Here comes the security guard. Fuck. He looks pissed. Doesn't matter. I'm still gonna kick his ass and when Ken sees me goin' at it he'll step in and help me. Right?

"What the fuck you doin' with my cap?" Shit. "Someone threw it into the crowd and I got it for you" I shout. Okay, now I'm gonna kick some ass! Only problem is, I've never kicked ass before. I got in a fight once in 7th grade. After I punched the kid in the arm, he socked me in the face. I lunged at him, but I was instantly pulled away by students and teachers. No matter. I still have the fire. I can kick ass if I want.

The security guard looks at me and says "better watch it before I kick your ass." Oh yeah? Here it comes bitch! Then he slinks away through the crowd. I'm left standing there with way too much adrenaline and no beat down. I look at the stage to watch the over-the-hill skankin' Untouchables and see the security guard take his position. "Okay" I think, "next time."