And she gives animal crackers out free with the beer
And I walked outside my door and I saw a big cow and I said

Oh, let's give Alice a great big cheer
And so, and so I wrote him this song, and I wrote it really for all the cows
And the cow didn't say anything except, "Mm, Melanie"
Yeah, I eat more crackers than anyone can

Oh I love eating ice cream,chocolate, vanilla and butter pecan
I was, had a day off, so I, I wanted to go to the country
The children in Europe won't starve anymore".
(I forgot the words, once, thank you)
Once I went on a diet
I wrote this song in Columbus, Missouri.
'Cause you can't eat animal crackers
"Oh, moo, you know, don't you, you know that I don't eat cows?"

Once I went on a diet a carbohydrate diet ain't nice

She knows the age, ah, animal crackers are in this year
But some people think that fatties are nice, yeah
Columbus, Missouri is the country
But I best love animal crackers 'cause I love helping my fellow man
I eat at Alice's restaurant year after year

So, I'm gonna stay a fatty for all of my life
Did you ever hear of Alice's restaurant?
(That's the Freudian part, is it, when I forget it)
And that wasn't very difficult because the country was
She makes an animal cracker pizza, ha