Portishead- "Third"

From my first time hearing the record, a bit before the major reviews began funneling out, I knew that this would be an album that critics would devour. And why not, it obviously has avant garde leanings, it's haunting, seems profound, is quite atypical, and unlikely to be well received by the common man. This is usually good for a rating into the 9s from Pitchfork. I would have expected a resolute 4.5 from All Music Guide, who will try to prove that they can be hip and like weird indie too. Probably a 3.5 from a writer of Rolling Stone, who will run away from anything hip for fear of recalling the last time he broke one (Yes, Rolling Stone needs to admit that the 60s and 70s are over and hire younger writers). As you all know, The Rock Czar doesn't really care about his image. Kind of like McCain, I like to think of myself as the straight talk express. Hopefully it will take me longer to totally bastardize and abandon the title than it took McSame.

I must admit that I'm no big fan of Portishead. I like "Glory Box" and a handful of other songs by the band, but I think that the overwhelmingly positive reviews this album is getting are partly due to the coattail effect of several things the band has going for them. For starters, they basically were one of a couple bands that created a new musical genre, they have very high artistic credibility, they have been on a long, mouth watering hiatus, and they have an exceptional, unique vocalist. Combined with the lack of particularly strong albums so far this year, the environment was ripe for a communal bed wetting session by critics. Indeed the predictions I made above were nearly perfect (Pitchfork got a bit trigger shy and 'snubbed' it with an 8.8 rating, but the other were spot on). Perhaps the peon that I am, I cannot see the veiled beauty in this album. But I think it is a fairly standard, experimental, artsy and unpleasant affair that reeks of 21^st century Radiohead (compare the drums on "Machine Gun" with those of "Idioteque").

The reason that most of this review is constantly digressing is because, frankly, there's not too much to talk about the album itself. The first half of the album, sounds pretty much the same. "Silence" is a very dramatic, tribal sounding opener which is relieved by the bipolar "Hunter" which mimics an actual hunt by piercing prolonged periods of tranquility with several frantic interludes that likely represent the killing of the prey. "Nylon Smile" is similar to "Silence" but feels even more uncomfortable and paranoid in its own skin. By track four, many will be questioning whether Third can muster another "Glory Box." In Dummy they waited until the last track to unveil their masterpiece. In Third, the wait was three times shorter.

It is a bit early, but I think that this song will eventually eclipse "Glory Box" in my book. This is the type of song that single handedly saves an otherwise stagnant album from failure. Where the rest of the album feels spastic and almost aimless at times, "The Rip" is focused, and resolute. It doesn't tirelessly waste its time on create a single mood or emotion, it takes you through a range of them. Sadly, it's the only song on the album that doesn't sound one dimensional. The next five tracks all range from mildly enjoyable ("Plastic" and "We Carry on") to grating ("Deep Water," "Machine Gun," and "Small." The album does, however, finish quite strong, with "Magic Doors" showing a rare glimmer of a melody and "Threads" exploring similar musical territory to some of the band's past material. As a whole, the album is a very uncomfortable, amelodic, robotic and wasteful of Beth Gibbons' obvious talents. It is promising in spurts but slightly disappointing as a whole. However nobody can deny that it is resolutely unique, harrowing, and a profound artistic statement. Portishead has clearly made the album they wanted to make, we are just going to have a hard time understanding why they wanted to make it.

TRC Minireview rating: 6.1

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