my pocketed song changed tonight...
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Artist:
"i want all that boring old shit,
like letters and sodas."
i think i've played this now fifteen times.
sometimes i miss the 90's.
sometimes i miss girls with guitars who sang about things i could relate to that no girl with a guitar really sang about before.
sometimes i miss this era of liz phair.
sometimes i wonder if i ever had a boyfriend, a real boyfriend, who bothered with letters or kisses goodnight, who i was crazy about in the same way.
sometimes i think i didnt matter all that much to most of the people who ever saw me naked, or ever claimed to love me.
wow. i think maybe this was the wrong song for me tonight.
or maybe sometimes i need the wrong song to really look at me.
i'm rambling. sorry mog.
goodnight.
Comments (12)
sweet dreams.
Ramble on Lucy, ramble on. ;)
To ramble or not to ramble. I say ramble! :)
That wasnt rambling...just saying it as it was right at that moment...never stop doing that...there are always ears that will listen... :-).. If its any consolation I had similar sentiments in my head around that time... I didnt actually listen to the song 15 times.. maybe 4...lol
i think maybe it wasnt rambling as much as it felt like i was getting pretty vulnerable, but sometimes it is good to do that. just ramble out all the inner feelings and i'm always surprised that someone understands, or might feel the same...makes me feel less alone in the world.
well 4 or 15, i think i felt it by 4, too. the song started out as a playful gesture when i first looked it up on youtube, but as i played it a lot of sentiments came to light in me.
heh. i'm still rambling. and feeling wistful, as you noticed before. wistful with a heavy side order of unrequited love.
Yes well. .. there is nothing... and I mean nothing as gut wrenching as when you are not loved as much as you love... I think that we are at our most passionate with our thoughts and words when we are at our most vulnerable... when there are no defences left.. and the bitch is that one has to open themselves to vulnerability to love... which opens a whole other kettle of fish!!! LOL... now im rambling and talking about fish :-)...but seriously keep writing it always helps me rationalise/understand myself just by write the feelings down...
i like philosophy-laden rambles with fish thrown in! brilliant!
but yes, vulnerable is scary but tis the only way to really feel or love or experience. and with that comes risk, but it is worth it. i wouldnt not want to love, even if it hurts at times...being that open and vulnerable.
i'm sort of an obsessive writer (and music addict) so i dont think i have a choice but to keep writing...but thank you...for all that you said.
Hey no biggie!!! Well funny you should say that I seem to be addicted to writing, music and photography so I have it all covered in this hemisphere..lol.. :-)
then we'll understand each other, it seems ;)
Absolutely... You are in LA I think I noticed, I was in LA last month and in March as well... I am in the States a few times a year... cant keep me away...lol..next time I want to go to Hotel cafe...have you been?
i actually haven't...but i want to. i'm on the mailing list for shows there and i've just not made it yet...
and yeah, i live in LA. you are in australia, right?
Im on their mailing list as well, the guy whose new album I am reviewing this weekend played there a while back... I like the intimate feel the place seems to have...and yes I am in Melbourne OZ, right down the bottom... or as we say in Oz the 'arse end' lol