Memorial Maker

I can't say that I truly know what to make of Michael's untimely passing...I have an odd, delayed response to death in the first place, and my boyfriend is clearly more affected than I.

But, watching hours and hours of his music videos, it did have me re-thinking my relationship with my childhood music. Chipmunk Punk was my first album; Thriller was my second. But it's no longer in my collection, and I only recently downloaded "P.Y.T." when I went on a nostalgia binge.

And: this week, my summer course on neuroethics focused on psychopharmacology and children. (Specifically, the rise in diagnosis and treatment of bipolar disorder in the very young.) It actually did scratch at a few scabs from my past -- depression, suicidal thoughts, a borderline mother, passive father, hospitalization, years of therapy -- that keep me reeling. I haven't quite settled down.

So I'm still processing. I put together a self-indulgent mix, featuring two tracks from Thriller, as some attempt to sort it all out.

A thought did keep coming to me today, however: regardless of his many trials, and our own cynicism, Michael was a truly compassionate and concerned man...probably the first to create the global awareness that Bono struggles to duplicate today. It was all over Michael's music and his videos -- you witnessed a man whose heart bleeds at the suffering of the world and its children. I hope that, besides his musical talent, will continue to inspire.

(From The Big Picture, collecting images from the International Space Station.)

EDIT: I should explain the Chad & Jeremy track in the mix. Of Cabbages & Kings was one of the few non-Beatles or CSN records played at our house. I remember Mom vacuuming to "Rest in Peace," of all things. To include anything else from the album for fear of sounding cheeky...just wouldn't be honest.