“Voices mesmerize…fingers encircling thee…come for me”

This acoustic version of Pissin' in a River by Patti Smith conjures up two distinct memories of my not so distant past. I became attached to this Patti Smith song whilst I was living in New Orleans. My life in New Orleans was like two sides of a vinyl record: one side echoes happiness the other side sings songs of joy. No other song reflected my life than Patti Smith's Pissin' in the River.

When I hear River it reminds me when I would walk along the Mississippi alone at night. The Mississippi was a river that called out to me from my youth ever since I read about it in my favorite American novel, Mark Twain's Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Many reasons brought me here, the mystical nature of the city, the music but there's something majestic about standing by the banks of the Mississippi River at night. It was soothing during my time of need. I recall during my first few months in New Orleans I was lost. Coming off a very tumultuous three year dysfunctional relationship I was trying to find my way alone for the first time. My strolls along the river helped me. During these very lonesome moments in New Orleans I would go walk by the river and let my thoughts reflect off the vastness of the river. I bathed in the glow of its silence. When I thought, the river calmed me and told me in its own way to keep on growing forward.

The river was the place of some magical memories. I recall my first New Years Eve in New Orleans. I stood there alone with some new friends watching the fireworks over the glorious Mississippi. And for the first time what I felt was happiness that I was a single guy in this wondrous city. I like to believe as the colors exploded in the midnight sky at that moment the River helped me figure out to savor this extraordinary time in my life.

The river was always a place for any mood, joy or happiness. I never pissed in the river. I cherished my moments there I spent strolling during first dates, waiting for my MDMA induced rolls to subside or just sitting on the grass and sharing a joint with some friends. The river was always there for me.

I went back with Michelle during our first trip together. They say you can tell a lot about yrself and yr relationship when you go on vacation together. I knew from that trip that we were meant to be together. I took Michelle to the river and she stood by as I tossed an old ring into the river. I feel like the river understood that this was something I had to do, to cleanse myself from the past. The ring I threw away was me symbolically releasing all thirty some years of sadness into the river.

When I listen to this version of Pissin' in the River, I don't hear sadness; I hear the soundtrack of my life. It must be what Nick Hornby heard because he himself named Patti Smith's Pissin' in the River one of the thirty one songs that made up the soundtrack of his own life. There is something beautifully poignant about this song. It means so many things to many people. To me it's a reflection of a sadness that has now subsides somewhere on the banks of the Mississippi River. I dedicate this song to you, the mighty river, and all that you've shared with me.

Patti Smith - Pissin in a River (acoustic) {mp3}

©A.E.C. 2009