I saw a film today, oh boy
And somebody spoke and I went into a dream
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup
Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall
But I just had to look, having read the book
They had to count them all
And looking up, I noticed I was late
Dragged a comb across my head
I saw the photograph
The English army had just won the war
A crowd of people stood and stared
He didn't notice that the lights had changed
They'd seen his face before
Well, I just had to laugh
And though the holes were rather small
Nobody was really sure if he was from the House of Lords
Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire
Woke up, got out of bed
Found my coat and grabbed my hat
I'd love to turn you on
A crowd of people turned away
He blew his mind out in a car
Found my way upstairs and had a smoke
Ahh, ahh, ahh
Made the bus in seconds flat
And though the news was rather sad
I read the news today, oh boy
