MOG

With a geiger counter
The piano has been drinking

And the spotlight looks like a prison break
And the newspapers were fooling
'Cause the piano has been drinking
And you just can't get served without her
And the menus are all freezing

And you can't find your waitress
The piano has been drinking
And the combo went back to New York
And the box-office is drooling
The jukebox has to take a leak
The piano has been drinking
And the bar stools are on fire
And the piano-tuner's got a hearing aid
And the piano has been drinking
'Cause the bouncer is a sumo wrestler

And the owner is a mental midget
And the piano has been drinking

The piano has been drinking
And she hates you and your friends
And he can't see out of the other
And the carpet needs a haircut
With the I.Q. of a fencepost

The piano has been drinking
'Cause the telephone's out of cigarettes
And the balcony's on the make

And the ash-trays have retired

'Cause the piano has been drinking
And he showed up with his mother
Cream puff Casper milk toast
And the light man's blind in one eye