This is no Bridget Jones
This is no Bridget Jones
Here's another song about a gender I'll never understand
This is no Bridget, Bridget
This is no Bridget Jones
So, with the angst of a teenage band
If this is a rom-com
This is no Bridget, Bridget
This is no Bridget Jones
And this is my head and this is my spout
Kill the director, please
This is no Bridget Jones
Kill the director
This is no Bridget, Bridget
This is no Bridget, Bridget
No, I don't care about the soaps
They work together, they can't figure anything out
Don't talk to girls, they'll break your heart
This is no Bridget, Bridget
If this is a rom-com
So, many skills that make her distinctive
Kill the director, please
Kill the director
Carrots help us see much better in the dark
Here's another song about a gender I'll never understand
Whenever she looks I read the nearest paper
This is no Bridget Jones
Kill the director
No, I don't care about the soaps
Though I'm acting like I'm in an EastEnders episode
If this is a rom-com
This is no Bridget, Bridget
This is no Bridget Jones
If this is a rom-com
If this is a rom-com
But they're not mine to have, no, they're not mine
