Turn the tide for the married man
Every wife who's truthful
To the guide for the married man
Every man would praise it
Every man can be satisfied
List things universal
Such a guide would in many ways
Enable husbands to fill their days
What better way than this?
It's such a splendid plan
To the guide for the married man
Help him not to worry
By the side of the married man
From Pittsburgh to Japan
Some simple thing that in every way
Would provide for the harried man
As only the married can
Who treasures married bliss
'Tis the lady who shares his life
But who can question the debt he'll owe
By removing the husband's strife
Someday soon we shall point with pride
Must keep her husband youthful
And spare him cardiacs
Each and every device we know
You help the bride of the married man
Must be tried for the married man
Assist him to relax
Help him slow his heart rate
