Going to Amsterdam in the New Year, top gear there
I doubt they meant to mess us about
Causes you to forget what you're sayin'
But that's okay, drunk people can't help that
I pose a threat to the nation
Home-made bongs using my engineering degree
Now Terry, you're repeatin' yourself
I've got all the anger pent up inside of me
Causin' trouble?
Good Bloke fairly
So I smacked him in the head and downed another carling
Not a problem, we'll pick it out
A chemical reaction happenin' inside your brain
I'm perfectly sane
But I get well leery when geezers look at me funny
And I ain't no thief, law-abidin' and all, all legal
Then six in the mornin' the sun dawns and it's my bedtime
Um, hello, my name's Tim and I'm a criminal
Just for gettin' drunk, I like gettin' drunk
You're on drugs
Saying I'm the lad who's spoilin' it
Bada bada bing, for the lad's like, mad fight
'Cause I never broke a law in my life
We pose no threat on my city
As I was sayin', we're friendly peaceful people
Bounce 'em round like bunnies
Spit in the face of an officer, see if that bothers ya
Um, well actually accordin' to research
And how many deaths are there per year from alcohol?
I'm likely to cause mischief
Those thugs are the pinnacle of the downfall of society
You know, I don't see why I should be the criminal
And when the weekend's here
"Dear leaders, please legalize weed for these reasons"
Government fundin' for further education pales in insignificance
Like I was saying to him, I told him, "Fuck with me and you won't live"
We didn't order chicken
On heroin, drugs and criminals
And old Kung Fu movies I like to see
Ooh, the pizza's here, will someone let him in please?
You stinkin' student lameo
Just a few eighths and some play station's my vocation
'Cause I take pride in my hobby
Good clean grief you must believe
MTV, BBC 2, Channel 4 is on until six in the mornin'
I down eight pints and run all over the place
What? I know exactly what I'm sayin'
How can somethin' with no recorded fatalities be illegal?
His face a sad sight, Vodka and Snake Bite
Why you cheeky little swine come here
Pass the hydrator please, yeah, I'm floatin' on thin air
This ain't no wholesale operation
Come on lads let's have another fight
Public disorder, I'll give you public disorder
And who cares about my liver when it feels good?
Shouldn't have looked at me like that
I exercise my right to get paralytic and fight
And down the station the police hold no patience
In the eyes of society I need to be in jail
Rasher, rasher, burnin' cash up
I like to get deep sometimes
What you need is some real manhood
For the choice of herbs I inhale
When compared to how much they spend on repairin' leery drunk people At the weekend, in casualty wards all over the land
I just completed gran turismo on the hardest settin'
We're not the ones out there causin' trouble
It really bugs me when people try and tell me I'm a thug
Let's talk space and time
After all we're all adults, not louts
Going on like a right geez, he's a twat
We just sit in this hazy bubble with our quarters
And think about Einstein and Carl Jung
If a war came along I'd be on the front line with 'em
Your stinkin' rabble boys
Anyway, I'm an upstandin' citizen
If a war came along I'd be on the front line with 'em
'Cause I'm an upstandin' citizen
Go get a job and stop robbin' us of our taxes
Puttin' people's backs up
Some day I'm gonna settle down with a wife
Discussing how beautiful Gail Porter is
Can't stand crime either, them hooligans
