Beaten and bloody, and I was sick down my shirt
Left me standing like a guilty schoolboy
All that rugby puts hairs on your chest
Hello-hurrah
But you didn't take a peep in their artillery room
Hello-hurrah
Though some of the lads said they'd be back next week
What a nice day for the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles
Hello-hurrah
I'd prefer the plague to the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles
Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles
What a catalyst you turned out to be
Composed a revolutionary symphony
It's the price to pay to the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles
An extremist scrape with the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles
Hello-hurrah
Hello-hurrah
Thought you were clever when you lit the fuse
Hello-hurrah
What chance have you got against a tie and a crest?
Get out your mats and pray to the West
Thought you were smart when you took them on
Cheers then mate, it's the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles
We came out of it, naturally the worst
What a catalyst you turned out to be
Then went to bed with a charming young thing
Loaded the guns then you run off home for your tea
Left me standing like a naughty schoolboy
Hello-hurrah
We were no match for their untamed wit
I'll get out mine and pray for myself
Tore down the House of Commons in your brand new shoes
Hello-hurrah
Loaded the guns then you run off home for your tea
I hope rain stops play for the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles
It's the price to price to pay to the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles
I'd prefer the plague to the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles
