Eighteen academy chairs
And the anchorperson on TV goes
And America can't say 'No'
Fourteen cannibal kings
Out of which only seven really even care
Out of which only twelve will make it back again
La-di-da-di-da-didi-didi-da
Sergeant sends a letter to five military wives
And America can't say 'No'
La-di-da-di-da-didi-didi-da
Fifteen celebrity minds
La-di-da-di-da-didi-didi-da
La-di-da-di-da-didi-didi-da
And America can't say 'No'
Of thirty-two gently clenching wrinkled little hands
Cheer them on to their rivals 'cause America can
Leading their fifteen sordid, wretched checkered lives
La-di-da-di-da
Cheer them on to their rivals 'cause America can
And the anchorperson on TV goes
Wondering blithely what the dinner bell will bring
Will they find their solution in time?
Using fifteen pristine moderate liberal minds
His tears drip down from ten little eyes
Celebrity minds, they're humbly taken by surprise
Served in a leafy bed of sixteen military wives
And the anchorperson on TV goes
Cheer them on to their rivals 'cause America can
And America does if America says,"It's so, it's so"
And America does if America says,"It's so, it's so"
Seventeen company men
And America does if America says,"It's so, it's so"
La-di-da-di-da-didi-didi-da
La-di-da-di-da-didi-didi-da
Fifteen celebrity minds
Doling out a garland to five
Staring at the natural tan