Diary entry 9th of May '62
And I'm a failure
They later found him scolding a banana
If my lips start smiling and my knees start a knocking
It was going to be a film but the camera person slipped
(You are, you are)
It's due to fog, it's due to fog
We've had some ugly babies but none were quite like you
Mother played by Peter Beardsley, father by John Cleese
(You are, you are, you are)
The world is going mad but me, I'm doing fine
It looks as if the nose and chin are definitely here to stay
Back to bed, back to reality
I'm a failure
A cardboard Apollo 6 has given the all clear
Terry meets June in Tales From The Crypt
And I'm a failure
I'm a failure
(Pa, pa, pa, pa, pa)
I am
A murder, a mystery where everybody bleeds
A documentary that nobody believes
I'm doing fine, I'm doing fine
(You are, you are, you are)
Diary entry '62 end of May
A fantasy, a thriller with romance and disease
11th December '68, Captain's log
Back to bed, back to reality
I am
(You are, you are, you are)
They're here to stay, they're here to stay
I am
Diary entry '68 end of the year
Back to bed, back to reality
This is my life and this is how it reads
And if I seem half hearted, it's because I'm broken hearted
Proposed trip to Mars was cancelled due to fog
(You are, you are, you are)
This is the play, it was I who wrote the script
And if I seem half hearted, it's because I'm broken hearted
If my lips start smiling and my knees start a knocking
(You are, you are)
Umm, back to bed, back to reality
Diary entry, 10th of April '89
I am
Albert Steptoe in Gone With The Breeze