I said, “Don't sit on my Jimmy Shands, don't sit on my Jimmy Shands
That's why they invite me, I suppose
And that's my very best advice to you
Honey, let me lead you by the hand
And that's my very best advice to you
Call me precious, I don't mind, 78's are hard to find
Now you stagger, now you sway, why don't you fall the other way?
I said, “Don't sit on my Jimmy Shands, don't sit on my Jimmy Shands
You just can't get the shellac since the war
Don't sit on my Jimmy Shands, don't sit on my Jimmy Shands
Waltzes, Strathspey's, eightsome reels, now you know how good it feels
Find a lap or find a chair, you can park it anywhere
I said, “Don't sit on my Jimmy Shands, don't sit on my Jimmy Shands
Unless you wanna wind up black and blue
I said, “Don't sit on my Jimmy Shands, don't sit on my Jimmy Shands
Unless you wanna wind up black and blue”
They don't make 'em like that anymore
And that's my very best advice to you
Don't sit on my Jimmy Shands, don't sit on my Jimmy Shands
Darling, though you're twice my size, I don't mean to patronize
They don't mend with sticky tape and glue”
Crank that handle babe, away she goes
They don't mend with sticky tape and glue”
Just don't rest your cheeks against my man
'Cause I've got something here worth more than gold
No shindig is half complete without that famous polka beat
I said, “Don't sit on my Jimmy Shands, don't sit on my Jimmy Shands
Don't sit on my Jimmy Shands, don't sit on my Jimmy Shands
This one's the Beltona brand, finest label in the land
