If there's one thing that I can't stand
He's got the looks, he's got the lolly
Doing the shimmy, snakes alive
Doing the jitterbug, doing the jive
You say he's a relative, some hope
Lazy Susans, blockbusters
I'm half way out of my seat
And I'm gonna tap dance on his head
Get your mittens off my gal
Don't tempt me, don't tempt me, don't tempt me
If he's your uncle, I'm the Pope
Gas grenades, knuckle-dusters
I've got friends, mean sons
Don't tempt me, don't tempt me, don't tempt me
Just keep me away from a laughing boy
I'm half way out of my seat
Don't tempt me, don't tempt me, don't tempt me
Ban that couple, certificate X
That's not a dance, that's S E X
He's gonna dance with me instead
I'm not mad, I'm a cuddly toy
They've got knives, chains, guns
He's putting his hands in the wrong places
Driving me clean off my trolley
It's time to rearrange his face
Don't tempt me, don't tempt me, don't tempt me
While you polish the floor with another man
I'm half way out of my seat, oh
I'm sitting here calm as I can
Or you'll end up as mincemeat, pal
Oh, I'm a patient man, but it's out of hand
