My poor old invalid aunt
Consider my career, my sweetheart dear
My asthma's getting worse
And I'm addicted to a thousand drugs
My asthma's getting worse
And I'm workin' in a defense plant
I got to water my rubber tree plant
I knew better dead than red
I can hardly reach my knees
Besides, I ain't no fool, I'm a goin' to school
And I always carry a purse
Sarge, I'm only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen
And if the enemy ever came close to me
And I'm workin' in a defense plant
Besides, I ain't no fool, I'm a goin' to school
But I think you gotta see
Consider my career, my sweetheart dear
Sarge, I'm only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen
And I always carry a purse
So, have a ball, Sarge, watch 'em fall
My poor old invalid aunt
My poor old invalid aunt
Besides, I ain't no fool, I'm a goin' to school
Well, I'll be the first to go
That if someone's gotta go over there
That someone isn't me
I got eyes like a bat, and my feet are flat
I've got a dislocated disc and a racked up back
I got eyes like a bat, and my feet are flat
And when the bombshell hits, I get epileptic fits
My asthma's getting worse
And when it came my time to serve
And I always carry a purse
Yeah, kill me a thousand or so
Consider my career, my sweetheart dear
I hate Chou En Lai, and I hope he dies
My asthma's getting worse
And if you ever get a war without any gore
And I'm workin' in a defense plant
And I always carry a purse
Sarge, I'm only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen
I got eyes like a bat, and my feet are flat
Consider my career, my sweetheart dear
And an keepin' old Castro down
Buddy, this is what I said
Sarge, I'm only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen
I believe in God and Senator Dodd
But when I got to my old draft board
Besides, I ain't no fool, and I'm goin' to school
I got the weakness woes, I can't touch my toes
I'm allergic to flowers and bugs
Well, I'd probably start to sneeze
I got eyes like a bat, and my feet are flat
