I've got a dislocated disc and a racked up back
And I always carry a purse
I believe in God and Senator Dodd
I hate Chou En Lai, and I hope he dies
So, have a ball, Sarge, watch 'em fall
And I'm workin' in a defense plant
And I'm addicted to a thousand drugs
My asthma's getting worse
And I always carry a purse
Well, I'll be the first to go
Consider my career, my sweetheart dear
I knew better dead than red
Sarge, I'm only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen
I got eyes like a bat, and my feet are flat
I got eyes like a bat, and my feet are flat
And when the bombshell hits, I get epileptic fits
And if you ever get a war without any gore
And when it came my time to serve
Sarge, I'm only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen
I can hardly reach my knees
And an keepin' old Castro down
And I'm workin' in a defense plant
I'm allergic to flowers and bugs
That someone isn't me
I got to water my rubber tree plant
Besides, I ain't no fool, I'm a goin' to school
And I always carry a purse
Buddy, this is what I said
And if the enemy ever came close to me
That if someone's gotta go over there
Well, I'd probably start to sneeze
My asthma's getting worse
But when I got to my old draft board
My asthma's getting worse
Yeah, kill me a thousand or so
Sarge, I'm only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen
Sarge, I'm only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen
My poor old invalid aunt
But I think you gotta see
My poor old invalid aunt
Consider my career, my sweetheart dear
And I always carry a purse
I got eyes like a bat, and my feet are flat
I got eyes like a bat, and my feet are flat
Besides, I ain't no fool, I'm a goin' to school
Consider my career, my sweetheart dear
My poor old invalid aunt
My asthma's getting worse
Besides, I ain't no fool, I'm a goin' to school
Besides, I ain't no fool, and I'm goin' to school
Consider my career, my sweetheart dear
I got the weakness woes, I can't touch my toes
And I'm workin' in a defense plant
