Tongue-tied and oh so squeamish
(Is that the most that you can give?)
La la la la, la la la
I think they never liked you anyway
The end, and if your life won't wait
Oh, dead
La la la, la la
If like ain't just a joke
During this operation
The end, and if your life won't wait
And in my honest observation
And if you get to heaven
Wouldn't it be grand to take a pistol by the hand?
Found a complication in your heart
And if you get to heaven
(La la la, la la)
(La la la, la la)
If life ain't just a joke
Did you get what you deserve?
Oh ************
Have you heard the news that you're dead?
Oh take me from the hospital bed
Wouldn't it be grand? It ain't exactly what you planned
Then why are we laughing?
Then why am I dead?
No one ever had much nice to say
Did you get what you deserve?
So long
Oh take me from the hospital bed
You never fell in love
The ending of your life
'Cause now you've got
And wouldn't it be great if we were dead?
(La la la la, la la)
I'll be here waiting, babe
Did you get what you deserve?
Then why are we laughing?
La la la, la la
(La la la la, la la la)
(Now you've got)
I think they never liked you anyway
One, two, one two three four!
Then your heart can't take this
I'll be here wondering
Have you heard the news that you're dead?
Then why are we laughing?
I'll be here waiting, babe
La la la la, la la
The ending of your life
(La la la la, la la la)
No one ever had much nice to say
La la la la, la la la
And if your heart stops beating
La la la la, la la
(La la la la, la la)
Well come on
Then your heart can't take this
And wouldn't it be great if we were dead?
Maybe just two weeks to live
Did you get what you deserve?
If life ain't just a joke
If life ain't just a joke