Of my forget-me-nots and marigolds
I'm riding hard on the last lines of every lie
As we cover our heads and drink heavily into the nights
'Cause I am so visceral yet deeply inept
On the inside but I can still pretend
That still shock and surprise
I'm addicted to words and they're useless
I am tired and hungry and totally useless
And my memory lacks initiative
But I'm hard up for cash
We were so close to scoring
Is it legal to do this? I surely don't know
It's the only way I have learned to express myself
And beat everything in the end
All my problems and short comings
For the last time with feeling we'll try not to smile
Through other peoples' descriptions of life
Maybe I'll win but for now I've decided to die
'Cause I wanna belong and I need to get strong
And pertinent and have common sense, yeah
In this department
It hurts, it destroys 'til it kills
But I'm afraid, I'm alone and entirely useless
Let's get fucked up and die
I wanna know how it feels to be useful
I wanna know what it's like to be awkward
I'm a mess, I'm a wreck
Such a positive influence on my mental frame
Let's get fucked up and die
If I could ever repay you, I would
Let me in, let me in to the club
Like the last time that I committed suicide
I am perfect and I have learned to accept
And all the things that don't get old
I'm about to explode
Sister, soldier, you've been
And the BMX bike of my life is about to explode
Social suicide
Yeah, so I'm already dead
And innocent, not belligerent
In this department
Goddamn, the liquor store's closed
And if memory serves
I believe that I can overcome this
I have learned to love the lie
With my memories and photographs
I wanna thank you for being a part
But I choose to abuse for the time being