Pal, if I were a salad I know I'd be splashing my dressing
Ask me how do I feel, little me with my quiet upbringing
Ask me how do I feel from this chemistry lesson, I'm learning
Boy, if I were a lamp I'd light or if I were a banner I'd wave
Or if I were a season, I'd surely be spring
Well sir, all I can say, if I were a bridge I'd be burning
Boy, if I were a duck I'd quack or if I were a goose I'd be cooked
Ask me how do I feel, now that we're finally caressing
From the wonderful way that you looked
That's the way I've just gotta behave
Yes, I knew my moral would crack
Well sir, all I can say is if I were a gate I'd be swinging
Well, and if I were a bell I'd go ding dong, ding dong ding
And if I were a watch I'd start popping my springs
From the moment we kissed tonight
