And kicked your mother's ass right in front of your dad
I fly flicks with my dick at your camera
'Cause it's all the same when they call my name
What you know about Mickey? He's a bad motherfucker
I chalk up my cue and sink the eight ball
I turn off the ringer when my lady calls
Dancing in my solar soggy bowl of dick and smack
And we don't need to chat while we're playing pool
Who can't die but still cried?
I go back and forth just like a cameo song
Storm the front line and then I find a spot for lunch
Underneath the tundra reach out for the Thundercats
I rip the stick out my girl's Porsche Carrera
Blind old ladies into diabetic shock
'Cause it's all the same when they call my name
Last night, a brass pipe and a flashlight
Rats run the wire while I'm looking for a match
Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame
Holds no better than this brother act
That Mickey Avalon ain't no motherfuckin' amateur
So stay cool, mister, I wasn't lookin' at your sister
I gotta girl who likes to talk my ear off, see
'Cause it's all the same when they call my name
I got a golden smile and a platinum frown
You can call me rude but I like my solitude
Wild-eyed babies go crazy when I rock
Don't ask for a smoke or to make some change
Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame
There ain't no ball and chain to hold me down
Toxic-proof punch when the loot comes
Thieves straight as they never been crooked rent-a-cops
I don't care about your kid or your menstrual pains
There ain't no ball and chain to hold me down
Don't point your finger unless you want a brawl
The bad guy, walking over landmines
So when I'm at the bar stay away from me
'Cause it's all the same when they call my name
There ain't no ball and chain to hold me down
I got a golden smile and a platinum frown
Truckers get my digits off the stalls of rest stops
'Cause it's all the same when they call my name
Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame
I got a golden smile and a platinum frown
Pissin' out vodka and walkin' up the walls
I flow like an acrobat, go tell your manager
Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame
'Cause I just wanna drink and be left alone
There ain't no ball and chain to hold me down
Leave your gods and your politics back at home
Shooting craps in the back of vacant city lots
Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame
That snuggle toothed sea hag, lips all blistered
Free-range circus acts and worthless facts
'Cause it's all the same when they call my name
Now rack the balls while I'm in the stall
I'm sick on the microphone like smallpox
Honeys wanna love me but the line is too long
I brought your whole formula, just warmin' up
There ain't no ball and chain to hold me down
There ain't no ball and chain to hold me down
Fist-fucking fagots at the White on gym mats
Smashed my crown and left me down with a black eye
I make 'em take a number, wake 'em from their slumber
Mickey Avalon, hustler hall of fame
Then reach into my pocket and light a Pall Mall
I got a golden smile and a platinum frown
Rocket boosters with my boots on
I got a golden smile and a platinum frown
I ripped the rubber mats out your lover's pad
