They had to count them all
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup
Well, I just had to laugh
And looking up, I noticed I was late
And though the news was rather sad
I saw the photograph
A crowd of people turned away
Made the bus in seconds flat
Woke up, got out of bed
Found my way upstairs and had a smoke
Ahh, ahh, ahh
Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire
And though the holes were rather small
But I just had to look, having read the book
I saw a film today, oh boy
Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall
I read the news today, oh boy
A crowd of people stood and stared
They'd seen his face before
Dragged a comb across my head
He blew his mind out in a car
Found my coat and grabbed my hat
The English army had just won the war
I'd love to turn you on
He didn't notice that the lights had changed
Nobody was really sure if he was from the House of Lords
And somebody spoke and I went into a dream
