Well, I wish I had a date
And she'll ignore me
And she wouldn't play on me
Well, I'll take her out to dinner
Yeah man, real peachy
Well, I wish I didn't have a chump
Well, I wish I had a date
Well, we'll go out at night
Just a little but not a lot
Cowwa-cowwa bunga
And she'll go flirt with the tough guys
Show her off to all the rest of my friends
And they'll fool around with her twat
And for the moment
You know I am but at least she'll pretend
With a lot of trust and devotion
But if you know I had a date
Well, I wish I had a date
Who liked to spread her legs like the ocean
I'll be in love with a bitchin' bim
And a body for brawls and fights
Well, I wish I had a pretty face
I'm not good lookin' but at least she's a 10
That I have my back turned
Well, I wish I had a date
She's making out in the parking lot
Well, I wish I had a date
Well, I wish I had a date
Well, I wish I had a date
I could mack 'em down the chicks at night
And I'll treat her real good
I won't pay attention while my buddies scam
Well, if I didn't have a chicken face
With a pretty girl in mind
I'll spend all my money on expensive food