You'd better learn to like them, that's what I say
They only come up to your knees
There's fools and idiots sittin' on the trigger
I like Chinese, I like Chinese
Wo ai zhongguo ren, wo ai zhongguo ren
If Darwin is anything to shout about
I like Chinese, I like Chinese
I like Chinese, I like Chinese
Yet they're wise and they're witty and they're ready to please
They only come up to your knees
There's Maoism, Taoism, I Ching, and chess
They come from a long way overseas
Yet they're always friendly, and they're ready to please
It's depressing and it's senseless, and that's why
I like their tiny little trees
I like Chinese thought, the wisdom that Confucius taught
There's nine hundred million of them in the world today
All together
But they're cute and they're cuddly, and they're ready to please
So, I like Chinese, I like Chinese
Their Zen, their ping-pong, their yin and yang-ese
Think of the many things they've done to impress
A fourteen, a seven, a nine and lychees
Wo ai zhongguo ren
I like Chinese food, the waiters never are rude
Ni hao ma; ni hao ma; ni hao ma; zaijien
Their food is guaranteed to please
I like their tiny little trees
So I like Chinese, I like Chinese
The Chinese will survive us all without any doubt
I like Chinese, I like Chinese
Their Zen, their ping-pong, their yin and yang-ese
I like Chinese, I like Chinese
I like Chinese, I like Chinese