This offer is unrepeatable
Sign it and seal it and send it to friends
An offer like this will just not come again
And woebetide anyone so woebegone
And if you're not satisfied, if you want more
We can always provide an improved overture
Just sign on the line
You'll never get tired, you'll never get bored
Your blessings will just multiply
Unless you should take up this fabulous offer
This offer is unrepeatable
You won't know you're born or about to pass on
And not only fall at your feet but be biting them
Guaranteed for this world and the next
You have been selected from over five thousand
Guaranteed at a price that is almost unbeatable
Would I sell you a dud?
Your best friends won't know you and neither will strangers
Young girls will be swooning because you're exciting them
Would I lie to you?
Cherish this life as you won't get another one
Your troubles will vanish, your tears will dry
A twister and dupe will bamboozle and hoodwink you
Guaranteed at a price that is almost unbeatable
In thirty-six hours, your fortunes will change
In a riot of colors and flavors
Guaranteed at a price that is almost unbeatable
I can't say more, it would only confuse you
An invaluable link in an infinite chain
Do not keep this letter, it must leave your hand
Guaranteed, guaranteed for a lifetime or more
Guaranteed, guaranteed to capture your breath
Guaranteed, guaranteed to bring fortune and favor
Guaranteed, guaranteed for the world and its mother
Power of life and death over the rich
You wish you had women to charm and bewitch
But don't mention my name, don't make any long term plans
This offer is unrepeatable
By the way I just hope you're insured
Or possibly scare you to death
Don't leave it too late or you'll be bound to suffer
The wine they offer will go to your head
And you'll start seeing double in fishes and bread
