We do everything alike, we look alike, we dress alike
We drink from the same kind of bottles
She admits Lane Bryant thought
How I wish I had a gun, a little gun
We hate each other very much
Every summer we go away to Baden-Baden-Baden
Mrs. Hassencooper loves to talk to Mrs. Eldenspritzel
Dr. Heimerdanner almost lost his bedside manner
Of the day she went to Sloane's and had her silly Willy
Momma says that we're a bore and what is more
We walk alike, we talk alike and what is more
If one of us gets the measles
We're sick of jokes about how hard it is to tell us apart
For example just to prove that she was more than ample
We're sick of jokes on what an art it is to tell us apart
Each one is individually the victim of that clinical day E, I, O
Then all of gets the measles and mumps and croup
We sit in the same kind of high chair, high chair, high chair
Every winter we come back home to Walla-Walla-Walla
She didn't want to have us
Then another one gets the measles
But when mother comes along she silences the others
We walk alike, we talk alike and what is more
She accomplished something that is very rare in mothers
We hate each other very much
It would be fun to shoot the other two and only be one
Mrs. Hildendorfer loves to talk to Mrs. Goldenbasser
That we'll be three forever and E, I, O
We do everything alike, we look alike, we dress alike
That they were measuring a giant
We hate our folks
We eat the same kind of vittles
On the day that he first slipped upon us three
You wouldn't know how agonizing being triplets can be
We hate our folks
Of her major operation when she had her twins
