Only friends you keep are those you pay
Always on the ready for the wack snack attack
Think of all the nice places that I've been
Go get some percocets!
Sometimes I'm even tempted to see the advice of Dr. Laura
What's the matter with you?
[Incomprehensible] they can't hear you, hey alright
I redefined the entire science of radioastronomy
Leave you confused but completely unharmed
Even Nobel prize winners questioned my notions of reality
People walking around with ugly auras
Careful with that mic, weezy!
I have been fooled by the seductions of violence
Oh, my bad, I didn't know you were lactose intolerant
Careful with that mic, weezy!
Now both you and I know the past ten years
Makes you pass gas, frightens all the girls away
And act all over bad to jack up your sound scan
Have been rather intense
Do you really think it's true?
And how single-handedly
Got the gadget Q gave Bond, destroy the mind
Do you really think it's that easy?
It's meant to be taken out on a weekly basis
Ain't gonna let it get under my skin
Your style's like a garbage can
But I ignore her
Do you really think it's true?
Like back when I was waging peace against the Visigoths
Do you really think it's that easy?
I was tutored in the ancient mysteries by a wizened philosophy
Make you jump in a pond, go quack-quack, flap your arms
And I take a deep breath and count to ten
How come you rhyme monosyllabically?
Has atrophy stricken your entire vocabulary?
You rely on gimmicks to amuse your fans
Careful with that mic, weezy!
I carry sandwiches around in a straight edge style Jansport backpack
Oh, but I digress
You been in a state of suspended animation
And wait for the one to come and get it done and finish the rhyme
Ever since you first reckoned
Me crazy, you abacus but enough about you let's talk about me
This is really good ice cream, you want some of it?
You always win at Sorry, I always win at chess
Do you really think it's that easy?
You invoke snuffaluffagus and australopiphecus
Take a deep breath and count to ten
Learned the polyrhythm of celestial time
And I'm ashamed to admit that
