Online

And I've never been to second base

I drive a Maserati, I'm a black-belt in karate
I'm 6 foot 5, and I look damn good
I posed for Calvin Klein, I've been in GQ
Even on a slow day, I can have a three way
I still live with my mom and dad
And I've got a set of six pack abs that would blow your mind

When you got my kind of stats
So much cooler online
Hey, I�m cooler online
In real life the only time

I'm single and I'm rich
Is when I got the chance with the marching band
It turns girls on that I�m mysterious
Online, I�m out in Hollywood
Yeah, I�m so much cooler online
I tell them I don't want nothing serious

But there's a whole �nother me
To play tuba in the Rose Parade
I�m so much cooler online
Yeah, I'll see ya online
And I head down to my basement bedroom

Yeah, I�m cooler online
I�ve ever even been to L.A.
Yeah, I�m cooler online
But online I live in Malibu
Chat with two women at one time
I�m 6 foot 5 and I look damn good

And I love a good glass of wine
'Cause even on a slow day, I can have a three way
When I get home I kiss my mom
Chat with two women at one time

Chat with two women at one time
I�m so much cooler online
I'm 5 foot 3 and overweight
'Cause even on a slow day, I can have a three way

It turns girls on that I�m mysterious
Every time I login
It�s hard to get a date, let alone a real girlfriend
Yeah, I�m cooler online
And she fixes me a snack
I tell them I don't want nothing serious
'Cause online, I'm out in Hollywood
I'm a sci-fi fanatic, a mild asthmatic

And fire up my Mac
That you need to see, go check out MySpace
But I grow another foot and I lose a bunch of weight

I�m so much cooler online