Tell one Jim, you know you're old when your wife says
Politicians taking pork barrel bribes
And I tried like hell to change
Our ex's think we oughta burn in hell
Yeah, don't you figure he's got bigger fish to fry
Yeah, there's gonna be bonfire burning
Christmas Eve burglars stealing good children's toys
Crooked CEO's are getting off with no time
My ex's think I oughta burn in hell, but the devil he won't notice when I die And don't you figure, he's got bigger fish to fry, oh, yeah
An everlasting barbecue
We've closed down bars, we've lusted in our hearts
And your answer is, "I cannot do both"
But I cuss, I smoke, I laugh at dirty jokes, the minor vices
Man, I know 'em well, I've closed down bars, I've lusted in my heart
There ain't gonna be room for me and you
'Cause we cuss, we smoke, we laugh at Tater's jokes
"Honey, let's run upstairs and make love
Man, I know 'em well, I've closed down bars, I've lusted in my heart
Holiday burglars stealing good children's toys
(Can't say Christmas)
I cuss, I smoke, I laugh at dirty jokes, the minor vices
My daddy whooped me and the preacher said shame
Pass the tartar sauce
My ex thinks I oughta burn in hell, but the devil won't notice when I die Yeah, don't you figure, he's got bigger fish to fry
But the devil, he won't notice when we die
Hey, don't you figure, he's got bigger fish to fry
But with all the bad stuff going on
The minor voices, man, we know 'em well
