Puts bubblegum in my food
It's nothing
And ordered him to do the dog
I had my white shorts rolled up past my waist
I'm gonna grow my hair down to my feet, so strange
Stabbing my picture with a bowie-knife
The streets in heaven are lined with gold
You must think I'm crazy!
Well, I set my monkey on the log
Now, you're probably wondering by now
Well, I don't know but I've been told
At the sorority sister's home
Just what this song is all about
14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, gonna knock him clean right out of his spleen"
When my name comes up he pretends to barf
It's just the same as talking to you
I was shadow-boxing earlier in the day
So I look like a walking mountain range
Now, I gotta friend who spends his life
Yippee! I'm a poet and I know it
If the Russians happen to get up there first
Wowee! Pretty scary!
Five, four, three, two, one, Cassius Clay you'd better run
She sticks my boots in the washing machine
I ask you how things could get much worse
He's a weird monkey, very funky
Now, I'm liberal, but to a degree
I figured I was ready for Cassius Clay
And I'm gonna ride into Omaha on a horse
But they wouldn't let me on the tennis court
He wagged his tail and shook his head
But if you think that I'll let Barry Goldwater
I said, "Fee, fie, fo, fum, Cassius Clay, here I come
99, 100, 101, 102, your ma won't even recognize you
Out to the country club and the golf course
26, 27, 28, 29, I'm gonna make your face look just like mine
I sat with my high-heeled sneakers on
Is what this thing here is for
Move in next door and marry my daughter
I ain't different from anyone
I gotta woman, she's so mean
She's funny, wants my money, calls me "honey"
I'm everybody's brother and son
Now they asked me to read a poem
I got knocked down and my head was swimmin'
Sticks me with buckshot when I'm nude
What's probably got you baffled more
Waiting to play tennis in the noonday sun
Dreams of strangling me with a scarf
I wouldn't let him do it for all the farms in Cuba
And my wig-hat was falling in my face
Carry the New York Times, shoot a few holes, blow their minds
And he went and did the cat instead
I wound up with the Dean of Women
I've got a million friends
It ain't no use a-talking to me
Hope I don't blow it
I want everybody to be free
