If I Had $1,000,000

(If I had $1,000,000)

And if I had $1,000,000
I'd buy your love
I'd buy your love
And there'd already be foods laid out for us
That's right, all the fanciest ketchups, Dijon ketchup

(I would buy you a house)

If I had $1,000,000
(If had $1,000,000)
If I had $1,000,000
And if I had $1,000,000

I'd buy you furniture for your house
(If I had $1,000,000)
If I had $1,000,000
(A Picasso or a Garfunkel)
If I had $1,000,000

Well I'd buy you a K Car
(But not a real green dress that's cruel)
(Oh all them crazy elephant bones)
You know, we could just go in there and hang out

Well, can you blame them? Yeah
(You could help, it wouldn't be that hard)
If I had $1,000,000
If I had $1,000,000
Well I'd buy you an exotic pet
If I had $1,000,000

(If I had $1,000,000)

But we would eat Kraft Dinner
If I had $1,000,000
Maybe a nice Chesterfield or an Ottoman
A nice Reliant automobile
Like little prewrapped sausages and things
(But not a real fur coat that's cruel)
(Like a Llama or an Emu)
Well I'd buy you a monkey
And if I had $1,000,000
(If I had $1,000,000)
Well I'd buy you a house
If I had $1,000,000
But they don't have prewrapped bacon
And if I had $1,000,000
I'd buy your love
(If I had $1,000,000)
(If I had $1,000,000)

While I'd buy you a fur coat
(Maybe we could put a little tiny fridge in there somewhere)
If I had $1,000,000
(If I had $1,000,000)
(We'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more )
And if I had $1,000,000
If I had $1,000,000

If I had $1,000,000
We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner
(If I had $1,000,000)
If I had $1,000,000
Mmm, you know, they have prewrapped sausages
Well I'd buy you some art
Like open the fridge and stuff
If I had $1,000,000

Well I'd buy you a green dress
Of course we would, we'd just eat more
Well I'd buy you John Merrick’s remains
Mmm, mmm mmm
(If I had $1,000,000)
(We wouldn't have to walk to the store )

(Haven't you always wanted a monkey?)

(If I had $1,000,000)
And buy really expensive ketchups with it
(I'd build a tree fort in our yard)