Crazy Rap

Man, I thought I told ya
But damn she looked good
I know I'ma cry when she gets deported
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns
Hey, man, I got a gang of that shit, man, I tell you what
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed
Like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong
Met a real black girl in South Carolina

He stopped, he took a deep breath, he said
(Say what?)
She sucked my dick till the shit turned white
So roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems

Her daddy was the leader of the Klu Klux Klan

So I hopped in her ass like a kangaroo
“Woo, good morning ladies”, you like that shit, man?
Singing them dirty rap songs stop and hit the bong
But the pussy just ain't no good?
Have you ever went over to a girl's house to fuck
Hey, wait a minute man, check this out

That's the best damn pussy I ever had
Met this beautiful sexy ho
You thought you had a girl to rock your world
Like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong
Everybody just crowd around the mic

Man, check this out it was this blind man, right?
Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palm Dale, skatin' on Dayton rims

But she whipped out a dick that was bigger than mine

The mutha-fucker whooped my ass all night
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns
She just ran 'cross the border of Mexico
Houses went up for sale
We fucked on the bed, fucked on the flo'
Now you still gotta go jack off
(What?)
But I ain't mad at her prejudiced dad
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need
But it takes her so long to come
I gave her my secret blend of herbs and spices
I wrapped her up just like a Hot Tortilla

So you wipe your mouth, and you try to explain
He was feelin' his way down the street with this stick, right?
Then her titties busted open with Hawaiian Punch
Hey, he walked past this fish market, you know what I'm sayin'?

I met this lady in Hollywood, she had green hair
So you try to play it off and eat the pussy
But he's already mad, 'cause you fuckin' his wife

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need
Stuck it in her ass, and she said, “Aie”
Now your clothes all muddy, your nose all bloody
I thought to myself, “Sheba, Sheba
I'll tell you all these mutha-fuckin' jokes
Then I fucked to the left, fucked to the right

Until her daddy pulled up in a Chevrolet
So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup De Ville
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed
Singing them dirty rap songs stop and hit the bong

I met a woman in the heart of Australia
Don't be amazed at the stories I tell ya
They call it East Side Palm Dale
I got a bag of weed and a bottle of wine
So he starts beatin' on your ass

I met this lady from Japan, never made love with an African
Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palm Dale, skatin' on Dayton rims
Fine young thing, said her name's Maria
Oh, he beat me to the left, he beat me to the right
Her titties were filled with Hennessey
If my tapes and my CD's just don't sell, I bet my caddy will
I let her ride in my Caddy 'cause I didn't know
See, I met this lady from Hawaii

I ran, I jumped out the back window
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need
She said, “I'll fry some chicken if you just fuck me”
Singing them dirty rap songs stop and hit the bong

Like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong
Got my ass lookin' like a zebra”
(I don't bang)
Plus you in the wrong neighborhood?
But her daddy, he was waitin' with a 2 x 4

We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed
That country music nearly drove me crazy
Your dick was hard but now it's soft
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need
I wanna get married, but I can't afford it

Fucked so long, I grew a fuckin' afro
If my tapes and my CD's just don't sell, I bet my caddy will
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need
Had a big butt and big titties, too
Singing them dirty rap songs stop and hit the bong
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby, that's all we need

I came in her mouth it was a crisis
Met this lady in Oklahoma put that pussy in a coma
I'm a fuck that bitch just one more time
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed
My man on the guitar, fool on the drums
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns
Fucked this girl, down in Georgia, came in her mouth

So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville
Well, it was just sundown in a small white town
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed
But first, I'ma start it off like this
(Where you from, man?)
When the Afroman walked through the white land
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need
But I rode that ass and said, “Yes, Miss Daisy”
I fucked her once, I fucked her twice
Fucked this hooker in Iowa, I fucked her on credit, so I owe her
When I met a little girl named Jan
So roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems

Lips was breakfast, pussy was lunch
I ate that pussy like shrimp fried rice
Then a dude walks in, that's her big boyfriend
Fucked her till she turned into a white albino
I took her to my house, 'cause she was fine
And he asks you where you from?
I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee
Met Colonel Sander's wife in the state of Kentucky
I pulled on my clothes and I was on my way
And then you're getting' upset 'cause you can't get her wet

(Say what?)
Well, I was standin' on the corner sellin' rap CD's
Met this lady in Michigan, I can't wait till I fuck that bitch again
You start talkin' real fast
Hey, help me sing it, homeboy
Like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong