Crazy Rap

(What?)

My man on the guitar, fool on the drums
(Say what?)

I ate that pussy like shrimp fried rice
Then her titties busted open with Hawaiian Punch
So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup De Ville
So roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems
Now you still gotta go jack off

Fine young thing, said her name's Maria
Fucked this hooker in Iowa, I fucked her on credit, so I owe her
Stuck it in her ass, and she said, “Aie”
She just ran 'cross the border of Mexico
When the Afroman walked through the white land
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed

(I don't bang)
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns
He was feelin' his way down the street with this stick, right?
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed
Met this beautiful sexy ho

We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed
Like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong
She sucked my dick till the shit turned white
But I ain't mad at her prejudiced dad
Then a dude walks in, that's her big boyfriend
I let her ride in my Caddy 'cause I didn't know

Like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need
We fucked on the bed, fucked on the flo'
Man, check this out it was this blind man, right?
When I met a little girl named Jan

So you try to play it off and eat the pussy
Your dick was hard but now it's soft
Met this lady in Oklahoma put that pussy in a coma
But damn she looked good
He stopped, he took a deep breath, he said
Had a big butt and big titties, too
Man, I thought I told ya

I took her to my house, 'cause she was fine
Until her daddy pulled up in a Chevrolet
I got a bag of weed and a bottle of wine
Hey, wait a minute man, check this out
That country music nearly drove me crazy
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need
I thought to myself, “Sheba, Sheba
I wrapped her up just like a Hot Tortilla

I pulled on my clothes and I was on my way
Then I fucked to the left, fucked to the right
So he starts beatin' on your ass
Hey, he walked past this fish market, you know what I'm sayin'?
If my tapes and my CD's just don't sell, I bet my caddy will
So roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems

Hey, help me sing it, homeboy
Like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong
Met Colonel Sander's wife in the state of Kentucky
Met this lady in Michigan, I can't wait till I fuck that bitch again

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby, that's all we need

Fucked so long, I grew a fuckin' afro
The mutha-fucker whooped my ass all night
Got my ass lookin' like a zebra”
They call it East Side Palm Dale
Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palm Dale, skatin' on Dayton rims
Fucked this girl, down in Georgia, came in her mouth
Have you ever went over to a girl's house to fuck

Everybody just crowd around the mic
See, I met this lady from Hawaii
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns
She said, “I'll fry some chicken if you just fuck me”
I ran, I jumped out the back window
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed
“Woo, good morning ladies”, you like that shit, man?
Fucked her till she turned into a white albino

Her daddy was the leader of the Klu Klux Klan
I met this lady from Japan, never made love with an African
And then you're getting' upset 'cause you can't get her wet
Houses went up for sale
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed
Well, I was standin' on the corner sellin' rap CD's
But first, I'ma start it off like this
But it takes her so long to come
I'll tell you all these mutha-fuckin' jokes
Plus you in the wrong neighborhood?
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need
Singing them dirty rap songs stop and hit the bong
I met this lady in Hollywood, she had green hair
But the pussy just ain't no good?
Lips was breakfast, pussy was lunch
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns
Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palm Dale, skatin' on Dayton rims
You thought you had a girl to rock your world
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need
(Where you from, man?)
So I hopped in her ass like a kangaroo
(Say what?)
I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee
But I rode that ass and said, “Yes, Miss Daisy”
Hey, man, I got a gang of that shit, man, I tell you what
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need

And he asks you where you from?
Now your clothes all muddy, your nose all bloody
Well, it was just sundown in a small white town

I know I'ma cry when she gets deported

Like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong
I met a woman in the heart of Australia
That's the best damn pussy I ever had
I wanna get married, but I can't afford it

I came in her mouth it was a crisis
I fucked her once, I fucked her twice
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns
So you wipe your mouth, and you try to explain
Her titties were filled with Hennessey

Singing them dirty rap songs stop and hit the bong
Singing them dirty rap songs stop and hit the bong
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed
Met a real black girl in South Carolina
If my tapes and my CD's just don't sell, I bet my caddy will

I'm a fuck that bitch just one more time
So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville
Don't be amazed at the stories I tell ya
I gave her my secret blend of herbs and spices
But she whipped out a dick that was bigger than mine

But he's already mad, 'cause you fuckin' his wife
Singing them dirty rap songs stop and hit the bong
You start talkin' real fast
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need
Oh, he beat me to the left, he beat me to the right
But her daddy, he was waitin' with a 2 x 4