Crazy Rap (Colt 45 & 2 Zig Zags)

So you wipe your mouth, and you try to explain
So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville

We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed
Like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong
But I ain't mad at her prejudiced dad
But I rode that ass and said, “Yes, Miss Daisy”
I thought to myself, “Sheba, Sheba

Like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong
She just ran 'cross the border of Mexico
So he starts beatin' on your ass

Singing them dirty rap songs stop and hit the bong
Fucked this hooker in Iowa, I fucked her on credit, so I owe her
Now your clothes all muddy, your nose all bloody
But he's already mad, 'cause you fuckin' his wife
(What?)
So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup De Ville

Met this beautiful sexy ho
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed
Had a big butt and big titties, too
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby, that's all we need
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed
(Where you from, man?)
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed
You thought you had a girl to rock your world

Fucked her till she turned into a white albino
(I don't bang)
“Woo, good morning ladies”, you like that shit, man?
And he asks you where you from?
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed
I met this lady in Hollywood, she had green hair
Got my ass lookin' like a zebra”
When I met a little girl named Jan
When the Afroman walked through the white land

Then her titties busted open with Hawaiian Punch
So roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems
Plus you in the wrong neighborhood?
Fine young thing, said her name's Maria

See, I met this lady from Hawaii
I wanna get married, but I can't afford it

Man, check this out it was this blind man, right?
Lips was breakfast, pussy was lunch
I met a woman in the heart of Australia
Hey, help me sing it, homeboy
Singing them dirty rap songs stop and hit the bong
Well, I was standin' on the corner sellin' rap CD's
Hey, he walked past this fish market, you know what I'm sayin'?
Everybody just crowd around the mic

But her daddy, he was waitin' with a 2 x 4
Met a real black girl in South Carolina
The mutha-fucker whooped my ass all night
Man, I thought I told ya
Her titties were filled with Hennessey

And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need

Fucked so long, I grew a fuckin' afro

(Say what?)
I'll tell you all these mutha-fuckin' jokes
Met Colonel Sander's wife in the state of Kentucky
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need
Have you ever went over to a girl's house to fuck
I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee
But she whipped out a dick that was bigger than mine
But first, I'ma start it off like this
I wrapped her up just like a Hot Tortilla
If my tapes and my CD's just don't sell, I bet my caddy will

I ran, I jumped out the back window
We fucked on the bed, fucked on the flo'

I got a bag of weed and a bottle of wine
That country music nearly drove me crazy
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need
Stuck it in her ass, and she said, “Aie”
He stopped, he took a deep breath, he said
She sucked my dick till the shit turned white
I fucked her once, I fucked her twice
She said, “I'll fry some chicken if you just fuck me”
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns
Singing them dirty rap songs stop and hit the bong
My man on the guitar, fool on the drums
Singing them dirty rap songs stop and hit the bong

I took her to my house, 'cause she was fine
That's the best damn pussy I ever had
But the pussy just ain't no good?
Don't be amazed at the stories I tell ya
Hey, man, I got a gang of that shit, man, I tell you what
Your dick was hard but now it's soft
I gave her my secret blend of herbs and spices
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns

So roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need

I ate that pussy like shrimp fried rice

I let her ride in my Caddy 'cause I didn't know
And then you're getting' upset 'cause you can't get her wet
Fucked this girl, down in Georgia, came in her mouth
Oh, he beat me to the left, he beat me to the right
If my tapes and my CD's just don't sell, I bet my caddy will
So you try to play it off and eat the pussy
I know I'ma cry when she gets deported

Hey, wait a minute man, check this out

But it takes her so long to come
(Say what?)
Now you still gotta go jack off
So I hopped in her ass like a kangaroo
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need

They call it East Side Palm Dale
Then I fucked to the left, fucked to the right
Like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong
Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palm Dale, skatin' on Dayton rims
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns
But damn she looked good
Until her daddy pulled up in a Chevrolet
Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palm Dale, skatin' on Dayton rims
I met this lady from Japan, never made love with an African
I'm a fuck that bitch just one more time
You start talkin' real fast
He was feelin' his way down the street with this stick, right?
Her daddy was the leader of the Klu Klux Klan
Then a dude walks in, that's her big boyfriend
Houses went up for sale
Met this lady in Oklahoma put that pussy in a coma
I came in her mouth it was a crisis
Well, it was just sundown in a small white town
Met this lady in Michigan, I can't wait till I fuck that bitch again
I pulled on my clothes and I was on my way
Like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need