Who Am I?
-
Artist:
-
Album:
-
Track:
Unlike Derek Zoolander, I do know who I am.
My name is Mike. My last name begins with M as well. Hence my username m-squared. The 64 was my high school football number, I should probably let that time and number go. Speaking of high school however, the first person to give me the nickname m-squared was another kid named Mike. I later fought him 3 times, winning twice. He represents 3/4 of my actual fights, I am hoping, as I am now 29 years old, that my career winning percentage will remain .750, which I consider respectable.
My great-grandfather immigrated to the US from Ireland and started up a very successful trucking company, which he began to turn into the family business. However, his sons, including my grandfather realized that while the business was lucrative, it was not helping their personal relationship with one another, so they decided to sell the company before it was handed off to the next generation.
As for me specifically, let's see, I was born in Framingham, MA which used to be/might still be the largest "town" in the USA. Historically speaking, nothing better than my birth has ever happened there. Framingham sucks. Of course I am saying that because my youth and adolescence was spent in the town bordering Framingham, which is called Natick. We were natural rivals, they were lucky to have me in their town for those days when I couldn't run across the border and get away from those freaks. I think I might be rambling. Anyway, some of you might recognize the name Natick, and most likely, that is probably because you either speak Algonquian (it means "place of hills" which townies take advantage of to drink in the woods) or you unfortunately know who Doug Flutie is.
Yes, Doug Flutie is from Natick. Yes, I have met him a few times. No, I am not proud of that.
Moving on, and making this a MOG-friendly post, I have loved music from Day 1. When I was unable to afford my own music, I was given a heavy dose of Graceland-era Paul Simon, and Steve Winwood as my father pretty much rotated 4 cassettes over the course of my first 10 or 11 years on earth. Graceland continues to be one of my all-time favorites, but everytime I hear "Back In The High Life" or "Roll With It," I now get hives. Once I was able to afford or barter for music of my own, I had quite a spectrum of favorite artists. My first tape was The Joshua Tree by U2. I went through several years with a Bell Biv Devoe poster on my walls (Boston represent!). I then declared Stone Temple Pilots the greatest band of all time. I liked R. Kelly for about 5 days. Dave Matthews was a long-time favorite. Now I loathe most of his music. Same with U2. Wu-Tang Clan generated my love for hip-hop, but "Hypnotize" and "Juicy" by Biggie are easily 2 of my 3 favorite videos of all time, with "Sabotage" by the Beastie Boys the head & shoulders above #1. I saw a band from my musical past (relatively speaking) in Pearl Jam, and they had an opening act that launched me into my musical future, Death Cab For Cutie, who led me to the Decemberists, My Morning Jacket, and many other artists I was ignoring for too long. Part of hip-hop died to me well before Nas told me it was dead, but it was resurrected by some of my current favorite artists and in my opinion, it's never been more alive or more diverse.
I graduated from the University of Massachusetts in Amherst, MA in 2001 with a degree in Sport Management, which has never proven directly useful as my career path has been from bartender to healthcare to (currently) marketing. My music collection sky-rocketed at one particular job, where we were on a network that allowed us to pillage others' music sometimes with and sometimes without them knowing. Also at this place of work, I was fortunate to meet some of my closest friends. My current marketing job has surprisingly very few people that like what I consider "good" music. That, to me, is disturbing and very unfortunate, but makes sense considering mainstream music, and mainstream media, as a rule, has to suck most of the time.
Other facts about me:
My great-grandfather's entrepreneurial gene was passed along to me, as I had a successful lemonade stand by age 8. At one point I sold a cup to Doug Flutie.
My facial hair comes in 4 different colors: red, brown, black & grey. Variety is the spice of life.
My eyes change color (from green to blue & vice-versa) depending upon what I'm wearing.
I just had a weird deja vu about talking about my eyes changing color.
My favorite movie is Braveheart. I've been trying to knock it out of its spot for years but I can't justify it with another movie.
My girlfriend and my mother constantly run neck in neck for the Guinness World Record for longest voicemail. But I love them both (I just don't listen to 98% of the messages, the first few sentences are good enough).
My girlfriend just read the above paragraph and proceeded to return a Christmas present or 2.
I'm fine with that. I don't believe in material objects. I hope she didn't return the video game I wanted though.
I'm obsessed with Boston-based sports teams, but that's not exactly unique anymore, so because of the massive amount of band-wagoneers and the marketing machine that the Sox & Pats have become, I have a serious love-hate relationship with both teams.
I can bench press 375 pounds. Minus 190 pounds.
I've never watched American Idol for more than 5 minutes, nor have I watched Survivor, but sadly one of my guilty pleasures is the Real World/Road Rules Challenges. I hate pretty much everything else on MTV.
I think the greatest TV show of all time is the Wire.
MOG is the only social networking site that I like and I'm proud of that.
I have a torn rotator cuff, a benign cyst in my hand, "arthritis" in my back, hip, neck and my doctor says I am in excellent health.
I need a new doctor.
If I could only drink one beverage for the rest of my life, it would be Harpoon IPA, and I would be perfectly content with that.
If I could only eat one food for the rest of my life, it would probably be Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I don't know if I would be perfectly content with that.
I am very much ready to go home today.
I have said enough, I bid you adieu.
Locating MOG account...
Comments (20)
"My girlfriend just read the above paragraph and proceeded to return a Christmas present or 2."
You know what? She can never return my love. Or the herpes. You're welcome.
Unfortunately I think I have to pass on the return comment. Goddamn internet.
my, what excellent taste you have! biggie videos and beastie boys are a few of my favorites too (and harpoon ipa). i love that you decided to turn against dmb and u2. they really "grind my gears" (peter griffin)!
i'm from mass and can't say framingham ever really did me any good, haha. i might have seen a concert around there once. nope, wait, i'm thinking of fitchburg.
I meant my love for you, not her. And my love for Jamaican beef patties.
About me post accompanied by "Me I'm Not": Classic.
Green to blue eyes: I've been told I have the same thing. My Mom claims they can go gray as well though I haven't been able to confirm that with any one else.
Longest voice mail from Mom: I have a similar issue. She doesn't leave long voice mail but she loves chatting it up when she gets me on the phone. Not complaining or anything...
I just had a weird deja vu about talking about my eyes changing color. -- that made me laugh
Well howdy neighbor. This old diehard Patriots fan wonders how you could mention Framingham without mentioning the GM plant. You know, where over-paid slackers assembled cars that were almost warrantied to be lemons?
HAAAA!!! Another with memories of the Graceland album! I can remember playing it over and over as a kid. My father and stepmother had just gotten one of those new-fangled compact disc players, and it was either that or the Star Treck IV: The Voyage Home.
If you'll be my bodyguard, then I can be your long lost pal...
well then consider me your bodyguard Troy... and my father bought a CD player early in their existence too... if you remember that scene from the Wedding Singer, where the guy buys what's her name the CD player... it was pretty much exactly that scene when my dad bought it, Miami Vice get-up and all, and of course, he had about 3 CDs that he played for 20 years. He now has a Zune and has no clue what to do with it.
deadman... nice, a local! Of course, that was the heyday of Framingham and GM.... both have since gone in opposite directions (I must say that Framingham is slowing improving, maybe not the center of town though... awful, and if you were smart, always avoid that area during any World Cup event involving Brazil. Good god)
brittany - great Peter Griffin reference!
democlez - I think I've been told they turn grey sometimes too... odd
Awww, yeahh...
NICE!
Haha...Spider Man & Freeze in full effect!
how can you not be proud of meeting flutie? I mean come on, the guy is a CFL legend
loved this line - I can bench press 375 pounds. Minus 190 pounds. - thanks for my evening laugh :)
BBD - that is a good call. I used to love this track.
Kev-
you need to meet him. The Napoleon complex should be called the Flutie Complex from now on. Every chance he gets he reminds everyone how he "rose from the ashes" and proved all the doubters wrong. Good for you... the first time I heard that.
And here I thought you were just a wolrdly 8 year old, whose handle was a sum of squares, M² + 8², but this was too funny for that. Nice one!
thanks Cody!
In heaven there is only Cinn Toast Crunch. At least that's what I like to think.
"My facial hair comes in 4 different colors: red, brown, black & grey. Variety is the spice of life."
Nice, if you ever want one color may I suggest Henna. It will give you a good Ronald McDonald red.