Thing that can make me angry have the potential to make me very, very angry.

This is possibly one of the first unhappy nights I have had up here. As lame as that sounds, I don't know why either. I guess it feels like a combination of nothing happening and a lack of desire to go out and make it happen. I want to be alone, to be singular, to be blocked off from the rest of the world for as long as I possibly can.

On the other hand.

I want to get out, forget life, feel just alright, do something that will drown out the voices of dissent and self-degradation. Something that will make me feel like I have come further from when I last checked. I don't know if there is such a reassurance, but I feel like there should be. It is like all my ends are tied, my knots are sealed, and this ship is ready to set sail. But it's captain is far from it. Have I isolated myself so far from what I knew that what I know is now nothing, for, without the foundations of the past, the developments of the future cannot be raised? Well I don't know. Not my cheese.

It just feels like I need to seal up something, box it away, or reopen the flaps and let all that is inside come raging and flying out. I seem to have a knack for burning bridges, but never for building anything new. Oh well. These are all the things I can think about with a night alone. Sometimes comtemplation and self-musings make you stronger. Question mark.