SOUNDS OF FUTURE PAST AND PRESENT PERFECT

Who is the rock and roll Antichrist?

Posted over 2 years ago
Is there a pop musician or band so vile that even mentioning their name would eternally sully - or, worse yet, lay an unliftable curse upon - MOG? In a recent post, I innocently conjured the name of Eddie Money. It was not in praise (in fact, I believe I referred to him as "the biggest asshole I've ever seen on a stage"), but even in that context I was accused of bringing the evil eye upon the entire site simply by typing those two words. I was able to allay the fears of my correspondent by pointing out that as I posted with my left hand, I was holding in my right hand a copy of "James Brown At The Apollo." Moreover, as a precaution, I had ritually burned a copy of "Wanna Be A Rock 'N' Roll Star" prior to invoking its perpetrator's name.Just so that none of us ever unwittingly sics the forces of evil on MOG, perhaps it would be wise for us to compile a list of artists whose names must never be mentioned on this site. We'll gather them all together in one thread, delete it, then engage in a purification ceremony ro rid ourselves of negative karmic consequences forever. So, who else goes on the list?

Comments (50)

  1. Anonymous says hahaha!! no comment. great post! :)
    Permalink posted 05/03/2007
  2. Cinful says NICE!! Can I add the Beastie Boys to that list?!! (sorry to anyone who actually likes them).
    Permalink posted 05/03/2007
  3. Joxley says Good post...I kinda touched on it "here":http://mog.com/Joxley/blog_post/32882 For me it's these two...
    Permalink posted 05/03/2007
  4. Rawkkiddoh says gotta go with whats big in berlin
    Permalink posted 05/03/2007
  5. kristiana says No, the Beasties can not be added, I'm afraid, Cinful. ;) this is too funny. Well, she's already been brought up today - Celine.
    Permalink posted 05/03/2007
  6. Kate says I may get some hate for my vote, but: UB40. I can't count how many times i've been conversing about reggae with someone and when I ask who they like, they say UB40. Sorry, but UB40 is to reggae as Avril Lavigne is to punk.
    Permalink posted 05/03/2007
  7. I am says What, no love for Michael J? How 'bout Wham! or Ray Manzarek. Gosh there is so many, I can't decide. Nice banana hammock picture, Kiddo. Studly!
    Permalink posted 05/03/2007
  8. Timothy Ritter says Madonna. Sorry, just can't stand the bitch... Add anyone like her to the list that gets too much press in the first place. Make some room for the losers eh? Oh. That might include Eddie Money... Sorry again.
    Permalink posted 05/03/2007
  9. ivylander says Kate, UB40 was pretty decent when they started out - "Present Arms" is a top-notch record, and "One In Ten" is still one of my favorite songs of the Eighties. But by the time they got to "Red Red Wine," they were running on fumes. And have been ever since.
    Permalink posted 05/03/2007
  10. Kate says I appreciate your opinion as always Ivy! Doesn't change my mind, but good to hear all the same :)
    Permalink posted 05/03/2007
  11. mktackabery says I know, I know: Air Supply.
    Permalink posted 05/03/2007
  12. deedee says I'm going to travel back into early pop history and nominate Pat Boone, for all his unctuous deracination of songs by Little Richard and Fats Domino. So wrong on so many levels.
    Permalink posted 05/03/2007
  13. chucky says Too much pressure, I can't think of one.
    Permalink posted 05/03/2007
  14. Slicing says Avril Lavigne Fred Durst- i dnt even think he makes music anymore, but just in case Sum 41 Good Charlotte Ashley Simpson- how the fuck anyone classed her as punk is beyond me Fall Out Boy Britney Spears- she messed up a perfectly decent Bobby Brown song which is unforgivable ...ok,tht's all i have right now
    Permalink posted 05/03/2007
  15. chandlersford says I really don't think my 10mb connection will take a list like this! But now you ask here's some to be going on with - I've added a 'why' by way of explanation, it's only fair if you are condemning them to virtual wikipedia incineration (I'm not condoning real assassination by the way - just in case there are any deranged disciple of the word of CF out there reading catcher in the rye and polishing their shooter) well... maybe for some of them! James (here today gone tomorrow) Blunt - Crime: being a twat Dexys Midnight Runners - Crime: inducing physical nausea within 5 seconds of the 'singing' starting. Jamie Cullum - Crime: Being the jazz hobbit and having no discernable talent except taking himself far too seriously. Oasis - Crime: disproving the theory of natural selection Rod, Jane & Freddy - Crime: You really have to be of my generation and British to understand why! Any 'comedians' who record songs for charity - Crime: Criminal records! Queen - Crime: You really have to ask? Pat Metheny - Crime: The only gig I ever fell asleep at! Guitar noodling too far 'Duddle udder-Duddle udder-Duddle udder-Duddle udder-Duddle udder-Clunk'... Applause...Solo - Applause - Solo - applause Zzzzzzz! Twisted Sister - Crime: Against humanity itself Right Said Fred - Crime: Sorry I forgot we were talking about music Oasis - Crime: Oh did I mention them already (Catcher in the rye says Kill Kill Kill!)
    Permalink posted 05/03/2007
  16. contrabandwidth says Here goes: Phil Collins Both Hall and Oats HUEY LEWIS AND THE NEWS!!! The Village People -gimmic that isn't funny anymore Insane Clown Posse Michael McDonnell (of the Doobies) Katrina and the Waves - I don't know what they ever did but "Walking on Sunshine" but that song makes me wanna climb the clock tower.
    Permalink posted 05/03/2007
  17. emscee says Billy Joel
    Permalink posted 05/03/2007
  18. Mike the Knife says Motley Crue, Poison, Ratt, any and all hair-metal bands...G N R included.
    Permalink posted 05/03/2007
  19. contrabandwidth says Okay G N' R after Use Your Illusions 1 and 2, but Appetite for Destruction is a certifiable classic all the way through. Tsk. Tsk. Not hair metal. Compared to what else came out at the time, nothing could stand up to it.
    Permalink posted 05/03/2007
  20. ivylander says chandlersford, I'm guessing that if you don't like Kevin Rowland, you're not an Associates fan either....
    Permalink posted 05/03/2007
  21. Cody B says I had a dream once. I dreamed of becoming a martyr. I dreamt I was ( I think I already told MOG this dream) at The Grammy's and Kenny G, Michael Bolton, and Yanni were having a superstar moment together, doing a tribute to the greatness that was Mitch Miller. I have an explosive belt on in the dream. I rush the stage. I end it for Kenny,Yanni,Michael, and myself. Following my act, I am lionized by MOG and Pitchfork, and lifted up to a land were vinyl grows on trees and there's a certified organic White Castle on every corner.
    Permalink posted 05/03/2007
  22. dermahrk says Wow, 23 comments and so far no one has mentioned the holy trinity of rock and roll assholes: Ted Nugent Mike Love Gene Simmons and, Contrabandwith, you not only have dissed but misspelled: Michael McDonald Hall and Oates both of which are pretty prominent in my collection.
    Permalink posted 05/03/2007
  23. Jammy Jeff says Firstly, great post Ivylander (deserves to be on the Mog home page, well spotted Kate) I'm amazed the totally repugnant GG Allin hasn't appeared yet.
  24. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GG_Allin
  25. Dermahrk - I totally agree with you on Ted Nugent. Possibly the only living artist I actually hate. Did you ever see the Cribs show on MTV with him ? Watch it and weep. Contrabandwidth - Hall & Oates, and Michael McDonald have done and been involved with some superb recordings. If you get chance, listen to "Abandoned Luncheonette" by Hall & Oates, one of my all time favourite albums.
  26. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abandoned_Luncheonette
  27. And Michael McDonald's contributions with Steely Dan remain amongst my favourites. His vocals on the album "Katy Lied" are excellent
  28. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katy_Lied
Permalink posted 05/03/2007
  • soulrocket says Wow, post of the day! congrats, ivy-man. Check this out, hewhocannotbenamed is trying to bounce back
    Permalink posted 05/03/2007
  • ivylander says Anybody who ever appeared on "American Idol" is automatically included.
    Permalink posted 05/03/2007
  • mousetrap says "*Starland Vocal Band*":http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=11:fpfexq95ldde *Crime:* The song "Afternoon Delight," featuring the elegantly phrased lyric: _Thinkin' of he's workin' up a appetite..._ .......*WHAT?????* (By the way, did you know these people - okay, two of the four bandmembers - co-wrote "Take Me Home, Country Roads" with "*John Denver*":http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=11:3ifuxqe5ld6e? I had no idea they were multiple offenders...) And speaking of performers who won a Grammy for Best New Artist (yes, sadly, the Starland folks did), I also nominate... "*Carrie Underwood*":http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=11:3ifqxqwsldke *Crime:* Upon reaching the stage to accept her Best New Artist Grammy last February, failing to say a single word to co-presenter "*Ornette Coleman*":http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=11:gvfpxqr5ldse, or to trouble herself with anything more than a vacuous and superficial head-nod in his direction. When what was really called for, probably, was an air kiss, followed by an obsequious bow of respect, concluding with an emphatic *"THANK YOU"* for everything he's done for music and self-expression. It's too bad, because she actually has a solid set of pipes.
    Permalink posted 05/04/2007
  • dermahrk says One more thought about Eddie Money - I think he has something wrong with his mouth, as he seems to sing out of only one side of it. For that reason, I've always thought of him as the Ed Norton of rock 'n' roll (from the Honeymooners, for the youngsters....)
    Permalink posted 05/04/2007
  • fistula spume says I've got a theory. Now this is just a theory. I don't want to be knocked off for posting. Michael McDonald is an alien. Yes it's true. When he took over as lead vocalist for Doobie Brothers he was secretly infiltrating humanity through a rock band to send out his messages to sleeper aliens. He didn't stop there though. Eventually when he realized that the vessel he was occupying was running out of steam he took on a new form. That of Billy Ocean. He hypnotized humanity and mesmerized with yet again strange back of the throat singing. "Caribbean Queen" and "Get Out of My Dreams, Get Into My Car" sealed the deal for this evil beast. But it wouldn't last. He had to take on his final form. That of British born beauty Rick Astley. Strange throaty rhythms held sway and the mind programming was sealed thanks to "Together Forever" and "Never Gonna Give You Up". But something has happened. The beast is gone now. Some say it is lying in wait to assume the form of another. Others say the work is done and soon we will all succumb to our alien masters. Is it the work of Xenu? Will the next appearance be on 2012 season of American Idol? None can be sure. To protect yourself you must don your tin foil hat and keep your iPod filled with non-mainstream music. The choice is yours. This may be the last time I ever comment. I'm afraid I've said too much.
    Permalink posted 05/04/2007
  • Blue Meenie says Michael Jackson gotta be way up on the list. Cody B has the dream/nightmare that would make a martyr out of him.
    Permalink posted 05/04/2007
  • steve simon says hall and oats and huey lewis and journey are a good start
    Permalink posted 05/04/2007
  • ivylander says FS, you just reminded me of one of my favorite lyrics ever, courtesy of Nick Lowe: "Do you remember Rick Astley? He had a big fat hit, it was ghastly."
    Permalink posted 05/04/2007
  • Timothy Ritter says I'm down with the exclusion of hair metal. We must beware this current generation of hip-hop kids who dig that stuff for kitsch value. I suspect Winger samples are not what we want to hear in our urban radio joints. I also noticed that Poison was touring with Ratt. So raise your shields folks, a wave is approaching, yes... a wave of bad rhymes covered in Maybelline & Aussie spritz. Consider yourself warned.
    Permalink posted 05/04/2007
  • contrabandwidth says Dermahrk - I stand by my choices (and my misspelling of their names is a constant problem), but I have had this argument before regarding McDonald and Hall and Oates. But I agree w/ your holy trinity. I actually almost put "The band formerly consisting members of, but still calls themselves the Beach Boys" or "TBFCMOBSCTTBB" for the hipster's. Anyone who is against Hair Metal, I advise you to read Chuck Klosterman's "Fargo, Rock City" it is a hilarious account of growing up in North Dakota and being obsessed with Motley Crue and "Glam Metal" (as the author prefers to refer to it). If you ever liked these silly bands, (as I did) you will totally agree with Klosterman who doesn't deny that it was a silly time in rock n' roll, but it was a necessary time. I can't recommend the book more, even if you never liked Hair Metal, you will enjoy it. Klosterman's a great writer.
    Permalink posted 05/04/2007
  • etcvisitor says i think it should be pointed out that some days its just really good to talk about really bad music. but i wouldnt mind throwing minnie ripperton off the island
    Permalink posted 05/04/2007
  • ebuzzmiller says i was gonna say Britney Spears. but then I remembered how much I'd like to recreate that scene from The Omen and plunge 6 ancient, holy knives into Devendra Banhart's chest, in a crucifix shape, to exorcise his evil pretentious warblings from the planet, forever! I mean honestly, who in their right mind wouldn't feel compelled to stab THIS:
    Permalink posted 05/04/2007
  • Marco1019 says I will say that old MJ, circa *Off The Wall* and even *Thriller*, was when he had it. Then again, to paraphrase Chris Rock, "Remember those days when you used to argue about Michael Jackson or Prince? Prince won."
    Permalink posted 05/04/2007
  • soulrocket says Peter Criss of kiss fame. "Beth" must be the worst tune ever.
    Permalink posted 05/04/2007
  • goodmusiconly says Jimmy Buffet.
    Permalink posted 05/04/2007
  • SatisfiedMind614 says Dave Matthews
    Permalink posted 05/04/2007
  • kellywatchthestars says I have to concur with Joxley and some others on that band. I despise them so much I refuse to write or utter their name, instead choosing to refer to them as "My Personal Kryptonite." If I'm going to hell, my punishment will surely be sitting in an eternal car wash in a Hummer filled with camel crickets with My Personal Kryptonite playing on a radio I am unable to turn off.
    Permalink posted 05/04/2007
  • darmuzz says Phil Collins & Billy Joel top my list. Pet Shop Boys is next. Sorry.
    Permalink posted 05/04/2007
  • contrabandwidth says Oh yeah don't forget the Spin Doctor's. As for Michael McDonald and Hall and Oates, watch this:
    Permalink posted 05/04/2007
  • ROCKNROLLPIMP says THE PIMP SEES MANY MOGGERS TO BE WHACKED
    Permalink posted 05/04/2007
  • Permalink posted 05/04/2007
  • dermahrk says I think there was a recent quote on the Sopranos that went " I don't want my last words to be : No, Tony, Don't!". But the popular last words may now become "No, Pimp, DON'T!". Hahahahaha (chokegaspgasp..........
    Permalink posted 05/05/2007
  • ROCKNROLLPIMP says i have my eyes on these moggers may or may NOT give reprieves
    Permalink posted 05/05/2007
  • kellywatchthestars says Apologies for forgetting to turn off the italics. Should be good now.
    Permalink posted 05/06/2007
  • ROCKNROLLPIMP says *NOPE*
    Permalink posted 05/06/2007
  • ROCKNROLLPIMP says WHOOPS *YUP*
    Permalink posted 05/06/2007
  • tybees says I wholeheartedly agree w/ivy's "anyone who was on American Idol" inclusion. And did anyone mention Nickelback? I'll go with them!
    Permalink posted 05/07/2007
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