Whenever I dream about a man, I can't get him out of my head. I know they say that people in your dreams just represent aspects of yourself, but I remember my dreams as vividly as my waking life, and those people are just themselves. As far as I am concerned, I spent a few of the wee hours of Wednesday morning wandering around urban streets and drinking wine with Ryan Adams. And now I can't stop thinking about him. As soon as I got to work yesterday, I replaced my computer wallpaper photo with this one. I made an ipod playlist for my long commute that's nothing but my favorite R.A. and Whiskeytown songs. I spent two hours last night illustrating the lyrics to "Meadowlake Street" in my Moleskine.
I am about to turn 33 years old. Do you think that I will ever outgrow my fan-girlyness? Would I want to outgrow it? Isn't life boring without obsessive crushes? I love the butterflies I get when I hear a gorgeous singer's voice break a little on an emotional lyric. I love feeling like I am going to burst into tears when I'm at a show and the band plays my favorite song. Maybe that makes me a permanent adolescent. I don't think I care.
My Trusted MOGs
being married w/ four kids i cannot quite be as obsessed as i would really like to be.
my ryan fantasy: laying in the bedroom(from the Gold album pictures) w/ ryan him in boxers me naked watching old movies, listening to vinyl and drinking wine. i will be his sylvia plath. when we had to leave the house I would put on one of his shirts and pajama bottoms and we would go to a diner for food.
I love my Moleskine. One of my prized possessions.
to answer your rhetorical questions: nope, you won't ever outgrow it. you shouldn't want to. yep, they are what makes life interesting.
I still hold a grudge against parker posey.
It is not rational but when i find out an object of my crush has a significant other or gets married i get broken hearted. Doesn't he realize i am his soul mate????
maybe we are both utterly pathetic...naaahhh.
My Trusted MOGs
thill : 4 kids? Wow! Yes, that would really cut into my fantasizing time. Having a boyfriend is bad enough – the only time I’ve suspected him of jealousy has been when I’ve gone on a little too long about Ryan Adams, Jeff Tweedy, or Rhett Miller and he gets huffy and puts on Captain Beefheart to punish me. Your Ryan fantasy sounds divine, and so well thought-out. I was just pondering the ‘diner’ leitmotif in his songs this morning.
Re: Parker Posey—I never have a problem with my celebrity crushes’ lovers/wives if they are women I admire. I have loved Parker Posey forever, so I put my stamp of approval on that relationship. Same with Beth Orton. But when I heard that he was carrying on with Lindsay Lohan, it took me awhile to start listening to him again. Fortunately, that was a very brief fling, and I still like to pretend it never happened at all. Most people just don’t understand why I am the least bit interested in the personal lives of these people.
My Trusted MOGs
i used to see ryan and parker hanging around in the neighborhood...walking through a street fair, or looking at used LPs in the street...and they did seem like the quintessential artsy east-village cool couple...i guess it's natural to project your ideas onto other people's relationships if they're quasi-famous, but i do draw the line at access hollywood's (or is is extra's?) 'couples news.' come to think of it, the times i saw ryan with parker were the only times i've bumped into him when he didn't seem plastered. when he was still in whiskeytown, he frightened the hell of out me when he was drunk and drove off on a motorcycle (i thought it was an allman incident waiting to happen), and then i ran into him at a club in nashville when he was recording there, and he could barely stand up. it really did seem like he was one of those rock guys who would burn out really quickly. so, females who are crushing on him: is it because he seems kind of lost and fragile, or is it more that he's got that sexy-artistic thing happening?
My Trusted MOGs
"Is it because he seems kind of lost and fragile, or is it more that he’s got that sexy-artistic thing happening?"
Both of those things, and that he's clearly passionate and emotional. Most men I know in real life are only passionate when they're watching sports. I like a man who can turn pain into art.
Frankly, I am surprised that the boy's still alive. But like I said to my brother the other day, nobody could have predicted that George Jones would make it to 75, right?
My Trusted MOGs
I agree with you: I really, really wanted to sign Whiskeytown to the label I was working at, so I went to see the band and hung with them a bit in Chicago, and I had the eerie feeling that he might not stick around too long. Like Gram. It's great that he's been so wildly productive and prolific. I really like the album he made with Willie Nelson, and at the recent Dylan tribute in NYC, he nailed an intense medley of "Isis" and "Love Sick." You should track it down if you haven't already (the message board on the Dylan Pool website might be the place to start).
My Trusted MOGs
Thanks so much for the tip -- I will start hunting for that medley immediately!