goodthink

He has about 1 week left. But hope is eternal and he keeps pushing back the boundaries of when he should die and has us all thinking he can live on forever even though it is bound to happen that he will falter and leave us.

It is a sad time. Often I look at him and I am left without words, I don't know what to say. I want to tell him how much I have grown to respect and love him but I know doing so will only upset him.

So things left unsaid, stay unsaid, as they should, as they have since time began. The cancer rots his body and he stays in pretty good spirits and I, myself, am left with a gut check.

I will miss him. In him I found an ally. Someone who not only knew what it was to suffer the same ailments as me, but we shared the same views on much of life and death. He hasn't gone in facing death with any false bravado or bullshit. But he hasn't wavered either. Something I don't think I could have done.

I just wish he had more time, I had more time, that this wasn't happening. As atheists we both have to face some hard reality together and the preachiness of some family is hard to take. Why anyone would think Dave ought to make peace with Jesus now is beyond me. It's insulting, it demeans the life he lived and the morals and standards he held dear. It makes me mad. Makes my mom cry. And more than that it's just poor form.

But hey, everyone has a right to believe in their god crap right. And they have a right to tell you how you're going to hell if you don't believe in it too, especially when you're dying. That's probably the best time to try and scare someone and bully them into sharing your nonsense. I have to really struggle to not blame all religion for the formulaic way it propagates itself, and blame the people who chose to take this moment to preach their garbage.

Anyway, I thought I would share A sketch an a song.