Genuine patents you might not believe ...*...if i didn't have the links:*
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| *Passenger Control System During a Plane Flying*"*patent#: US 6970105*":http://www.patentlysilly.com/patent.php?patID=6970105 In these days of airline travel, every passenger is a potential terrorist, and you must sacrifice good dental hygiene to prove you're not. There must be a better solution to airlne safety than confiscating everybody's toothpaste, right? What if the Transportation Security Administration were to give, instead of just taking away? Sounds good, but what if what they gave you was a collar equipped with a biosensor and a syringe?: "The system is designed in a manner that the emotional conditions of the passengers are detected and, in case of change of such conditions, the plane personnel is informed so as to intervene promptly on the related passenger... the system referred to can deliver to the evil minded person a substance like a narcotic or a strong tranquilizer adapted to neutralize the offensive capability thereof" Take that, "evil minded person!" But there are positives for the virtuous traveller as well. Now, if your Ambien gets confiscated at the gate, all you need to do is experience an "emotional condition change" and that fourteen hour flight to Tokyo will be over before you know it. Time for me to get to work on my new book, Method Acting for the Business Traveller. Hey, wait a minute. If stewardesses had the ability to knock everyone in the cabin unconscious, wouldn't that mean that instead of smuggling weapons onboard the plane, terrorists would just have to go to flight attendant school? |
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| *Religious Lamp with Fluid Flow*"*patent#: US 7118242*":http://www.patentlysilly.com/patent.php?patID=7118242 Jesus said in the book of John, "I am the light of the world." Now have him light up your living room! But of course, a light up Jesus would seem too simple to be patentable. But what if we add a little animatronics? According to the patent, "Jesus' head rises with light actuation." That's right, wake him up right at his most painful moment. But the spiritual uplift doesn't end there. The inventor threw in some dripping blood pumps for that I-can't-believe-how-much-this-guy-suffered-for-me effect. Mel Gibson, why hast thou not pursued the merchandising tie-in? |
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Be glad i didn't post this one:
*Method of Using a Water Pipe*"*patent#: US 7122000*":http://www.patentlysilly.com/patent.php?patID=7122000 - which is about how to use a bong to make yourself and some lucky girl happy simultaneously in two different ways...
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