Quick, someone inject Jimmy Page with heroin immediately!
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Just saw Jimmy Page "play" with Leona Lewis on the Olympics closing ceremonies, and Dear God in Heaven, it SUCKED! Just when I thought he couldn't plunge any lower than the "Godzilla" video he did with Puff Douche or whatever the fuck his name was, oh how wrong I was. Leona Lewis, Clive Davis' latest global I-sing-like-a-strangled-cat protege, moaned incoherently through "Whole Lotta Love", while Page pretended to play guitar. Dammit, now Page is infected with her SUCK VIRUS.
I never thought I'd say this, but Jimmy, BUBELA, please get back on heroin IMMEDIATELY. You made better music when you were high, wrote better songs, and didn't gorge yourself on the teat of corporate mediocrity. Dude, I'll BUY YOU THE HEROIN. If that's what it takes to keep you away from these no talent shitbags desperate to glom onto your legacy, damn, I'll even tie you off myself, be your "yes man", and I won't ever put a hat on a bed, I promise.
Leona Lewis - you have big legs and your bright eyes make you look like a robot. Have you been sent from the future, a Terminator who has come back in time to debase our musical heroes? Please get off my television and do something more appropriate to your talent, perhaps a few months in the road company of Phantom of The Opera, or maybe singing Pepsi commercials. You have no SOUL! You make Lance Bass seem like Aretha Franklin!
Gotta go back down into my Bomb Shelter and update my "Signs Of The Apocalypse" calendar....
Comments (6)
You also might want to get him some...
Oddly, that did not annoy me near as much as I anticipated. Thanks for the anit-build up!
Hey, one man's turd is another man's bathsoap, I guess!
Haha! That is a hilarious title.
MORE evidence of the Leona SUCK VIRUS in action:
ZEP ZIPPED: AOL’s Fanhouse reports that the version of “Whole Lotta Love” played during the closing Olympics ceremony from Beijing by Leona Lewis with Led Zeppelin’s Jimmy Page had some lyrics edited. Lewis objected to singing the line, "I'm gonna give you every inch of my love” because she didn't believe that particular "sexual innuendo" made sense from a female singer. So "inch" was changed to "bit." In addition, the line, "Shake for me, girl, I wanna be your backdoor man," was deemed inappropriate and excised from the performance.
If you watch interviews with Jimmy you can see he still has a cheeky little glint in his eyes. :) Now, I appreciate that they wanted popular people to perform at the olympics. but leona lewis? most people would have watched that performance thinking "who is this girl that's trying to sing along and keep up with the driving force that is Jimmy page??" ALSO, if she is what people believe represents Britain then that's disgraceful...Jimmy Page yes because he is a British legend, but some daft girl who's only been around for a handful of years? *shakes head in shame* On a lighter note, to add to what ebuzzmiller was saying.....she could have changed the line to "YOU'RE gonna give me every inch of YOUR love" and "shake for me BOY, YOU wanna be my backdoor man!" whilst looking at Jimmy. :D lol THAT would have made me smirk.....