Full Disclosure: How Miley Cyrus Ended Up On My iPod.
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It all began at the gym. I was there on a rainy Saturday morning with my brother. The radio dial in the weight room is perpetually tuned to a hot adult contemporary station, which at one time actually meant Joni Mitchell, but now means Katy Perry.
"Party in the U.S.A." was playing over the PA. I didn't make out much; a bouncy vocal, some formidable R&B synthesizers on the chorus, and the DJ saying something about Miley Cyrus when it was done.
Even as I rolled my eyes, I was already contemplating how a proper listen to the song certainly couldn't hurt. At best, I'd be reinforcing my confidence that the inanities of Disney tween music hold no appeal among my advanced/evolved-and-yet-still-cosmopolitan musical tastes. At worst? My eardrums would implode under the duress of an unabashedly carefree pop song. Hardly seemed likely.
I read that "Party in the U.S.A." was co-written by "Dr." Luke Gottwald, creator of "Since U Been Gone" and "I Kissed a Girl". This guy, to paraphrase Christopher Walken as Bruce Dickinson, makes gold records. And I began to reason that if--purely theoretically, mind you--I was ever to acquire a song such as "Party in the U.S.A." for my collection, I would not be sipping the Cult of Disney Kool-Aid; I'd simply be enjoying the charms of a well-penned pop confection. Such justifications are necessary for the powerful neuroses of a 29-year-old music snob.
I typed "Miley Party" into the search window of the music blog aggregator website HypeMachine. A ton of results. Miley had seemingly reached critical mass, even with the Pitchfork blogger set. A mash-up of "Party in the U.S.A." with the Notorious B.I.G's "Party and Bullshit" sounded intriguing, so I gave it a listen first. Biggie's inimitable flow alongside Miley's chipper vocal hooks made for surprising chocolate & peanut butter. Both artists contemplate accessories for their respective parties: Notorious figures he better throw a bulletproof vest on his chest, while Miley's worried about getting grief from the It Girls of L.A. for rocking her cowboy boots instead of stilettos. Same planet, different worlds.
The next song up on HypeMachine's auto playlist was the original version of "Party in the U.S.A.". It sunk its sunshiny hooks into me almost instantly. Dr. Luke had done his job. Maybe the lesson is that I'll easily cotton to anything that's been blessed by the Notorious B.I.G.'s posthumous (and unwitting) presence. Or maybe the lesson is simply that a Jay-Z or Britney song can calm the butterflies in your tummy.
Maybe there is no lesson at all.
That very night, I caved. I went to Amazon.com and bought "Party in the U.S.A." from their MP3 store. But I failed to anticipate the enterprising nature of Amazon. Now every time I access the site, I am recommended the catalogs of Disney luminaries Demi Lovato, Ashley Tisdale, and the Jonas Brothers as "Inspired by Your Shopping Trends". Ouch.
I introduced my new purchase to iTunes and there it sat like a diamond in the rough, rubbing shoulders with last week's Master of Puppets by Metallica and Jay-Z's The Blueprint 3. It didn't bother me that I enjoyed the song. It didn't even bother me about how little I was bothered.
The next morning, I jacked the iPod into my car stereo and click-wheeled past Elvis Costello and Gang of Four, Ice Cube and Leonard Cohen, on a dizzying journey toward Destination Miley. There she was, between Miles Davis and Milt Jackson. I hit Play. Gears meshed. The 160GB hard drive clicked and whirred a little louder than usual, perhaps as if to protest: "Have we really gone here? Are you sure you want to do this? What happened to Master of Puppets? Bet that would sound pretty good this morning."
But the iPod obeyed its master. The funky-lite guitar riff rang through my car's speakers. "I hopped off the plane at LAX with a dream and my cardigan..."
I rapped the steering wheel with my knuckle, and put the car in drive.
Comments (8)
you are so adorable. I think that Disney suggestions from amazon are a helpful reminder that yes, you did in fact go there, and managed to rationalize it brilliantly. Note: I am still holding tight to Dont'cha as my favorite of your favorites. I still can't rationalize teh Miley.
I waz gonna just type "NO" , but, in all fairness, decided to listen. Now, two words - "DAMN YOU"
nicely written...vroom
This is my favourite Mog post ever!
I'm a pop music lover and also love a bit of cheese! And I also like Party in the USA.
I quite liked the See You Again (remix) and after reading Popjustice calling Party in the USA the best pop song of the year (or...something) I had to give it a listen. And it is a great little pop tune. Though unlike you I don't actually own it. You've inspired me to go on Amazon and buy it!
"Now every time I access the site, I am recommended the catalogs of Disney luminaries Demi Lovato, Ashley Tisdale, and the Jonas Brothers as "Inspired by Your Shopping Trends""
Ha ha ha haaaaa
Saying that I did watch a bit of the ahem Hannah Montannah/Miley Cyrus Best of Both Worlds Concert at the weekend (wasn't really as good without the 3D glasses). Only to hear See You Again mind...
What a crack up! Great little confessional post. Party on, Drew!
huge of you to fess up like that!! :)
now, where did I put that bubble gum?? :D
I'm chewing Eclipse Peppermint (sugarfree) instead of bubblegum, so here's what's infesting your iPod:
...And now I know what Craig Ferguson means about being a "creepy grandpa wearing his pants/cap backwards, trying to look 'Cool." (I even know what Jimmy Carter meant about "lusting in my heart.") OK, back to mature singers like Amy Hanaiali'i, Mary Chapin Carpenter, and Kristin Cotts.
she made it to my itunes, never to my ipod. Had a problem last year during the talent show and the girls from my class were going to dance to hoedown showdown. Leticia forgot the cd and I made a mad dash to download the song before they were to take the stage. I think the most embarrassing thing about it is when the album cover comes up on my screen saver at work. I feel like I have to explain it evertime someone sees it