1 - Crazy Naked Girls

Hmm.... meandering pseudo-psychedelic noodlings. Quite annoying. Where's the glittering pop melodies? Not here. Must be elsewhere. Not a great start to an album I've been looking forward to.

Halfway in.... I'm bored now. Can we have a song please?

Two-thirds in..... it sounds like fucking Queen. Getting really quite cross with it.

2 - Mt

"It was a big fucking mountain" apparently. This tune seems to be about aforementioned big fucking mountain. And losing all your mountaineering gear and going a bit loopy. Then falling off the mountain.

Not a good day then. :D

But what it is a lovely, mid-tempo pop tune that sounds like the Bay City Rollers. This is a good thing.

Oh. It seems the big fucking mountain was only two feet tall.

Still, top tune..... NEXT!

3 - Moped Eyes.

Damned good title, for a start!

More mid-tempo, but with lots of sharp stabbing noises (musical instruments, that is, not somebody shouting "ow! stop stabbing me". That would be silly), like some sort of paranoid funk.

LOOK OUT! There's a vocoder in the vicinity. But being used to harmonise on the chorus rather than to hide the fact that Kaye West can't bloody sing.

Not a bad tune. Not as good as the one about big fucking mountains, but perfectly serviceable.

4 - Inaugural Trams.

German?

TRAMS!

Oh yes! Proper Super Furry Pop. This is why I like this band. Perfect twisted pop tunes that make you smile and jump out like a 6 year old who's had too many sherbet dib-dabs. Hang on a sec, I've got to have a little dance....

...I can hear an ebow guitar wailing away in the background too. I love ebow. Awesome.

I have no idea why they're singing about integrated public transport systems over a cracking little tune, but I'm glad they are.

Blimey. Here's one of the blokes out of Franz Ferdinand who isn't quite as annoying as the singer from Franz Ferdinand mumbling in German again. What's he on about? Don't know. Don't care! Hurrah for SFA!

5 - Inconvenience.

An apt title, considering my bloody phone keeps ringing with people trying to sell me stuff I don't want. Go away.

And we're back to "sounds a bit like the Bay City Rollers" territory. With a touch of the old Blockbusters (that's the Sweet song, not the teenagers' 80's quiz show hosted by Bob Holness)

A cracking guitar riff and a bouncy chorus. We're on a roll!

There's also a guitar solo that sounds like Brian May being fed through some sort of industrial shredder. This is a good thing.

6 - Cardiff In The Sun

An 8-minute track eh? i hope it's better than the awful opening "epic".

First minute sounds like Explosions In The Sky. Or Dif Juz. Nice. I've been to Cardiff in the sun and it wasn't quite as nice as this.

Sha-la-la's - can't go wrong with a bit of that. More vocoder being used to lovely effect. This is frankly a gorgeous, slightly ethereal tune. It actually makes me want to go to Cardiff again!

It builds to a climax of a wall of noise - squealing guitars, pounding drums, interweaving vocals, filtered feedback and manages to do so while sounding like floaty sweetness. Fantastic

7 - The Very Best Of Neil Diamond.

Best song title. Ever. No contest. Run a close second by "I Can't Get Bouncing Babies By The Teardrop Explodes" by The Freshies.

An intro that reminds me of "Living On The Ceiling" by Blancmange. Which is one of the bestest tunes ever. Good start.

They've gone vocoder mad! More of it drenching this track. But that's OK, 'cos this is by far the best tune so far. Dark, twisty, sinuous pop. Buy the album just for this one.

Hang on, the middle eight sounds like something off "Mezzanine" by Massive Attack! Bloody hell! I didn't think this song could get better, but it just did.

8 - Helium Hearts.

Oo-er it's a bit countryfied at the beginning. Hmmmm. This is a bit throwaway. Sounds even less substantial given the awesomeness of the previous track. Come on lads, you can do better than this.

The highest praise I can give this tune is "inoffensive"

9 - White Socks/Flip Flops.

Another fantastic title. Let's hope the song lives up to it.

Oh god, it's the Doobie Brothers. Gruff isn't singing this. Must be one of the other, less interesting members of the band. This is another disappointment.

My interest perked up briefly when I thought this track was finishing. It wasn't. DAMN YOUR FALSE ENDINGS!

I'm bored now.

SKIP....

10 - Where Do You Wanna Go?

Now, this is more like it. It's a little bit Byrdsy, a little bit Big Starry - but with added bop-bop-bop goodness. It jingles like particularly jingly christmas decorations on a silvery, sparkly christmas tree. Lovely.

Thank God for that.

11 - Lliwiau Llachar.

And BOOM! we've gone all Welsh.

And it's still all sparkly. Oh yes. Pretty much in the same vein as the last one. But with a bit of a vocoder garnish. What's with all the vocoders in music these days? Have they been going cheap on Ebay?

12 - Pric.

No, that's not a typo.

9 minutes and 53 seconds? I'm slightly nervou about that. Hope it won't be yet another formless bit of psych-drudgery.

Nice bass riff. Good start. Oh. Now it's gone all Sigue Sigue Sputnik. This is gonna need some pop genius to rescue it.

2 minutes in. Bit of a breakdown and....... There's the song! FINALLY! It's erm... not great.

This makes me want to go and hoover the stairs.

I see what they've done here. One riff over and over again for ten minutes with a few wacky sound effects chucked in. Shutup now.

In summary - 6 top tunes, 1 quite good tune, 1 bit of throwaway rubbish and 2 bloody awful wastes of space.