Shane MacGowan tops list for Rock's Ugliest Men...

Posted over 4 years ago

A site called West Virginia Surf Report has made a list of the 10 ugliest men in Rock n' Roll (in no particular order). I don't know if I completely agree with all of their choices, but this picture of Shane MacGowan, definitely has my vote.
From the site:
Lemmy
Even if it wasn't for the solar system of terrifying warts, or whatever those things are, he'd still make the list. As it stands, this Motorhead legend is one of the Patron Saints of Ugly. An automatic, as they say. Wonder if he ever worries about one of those flesh biscuits falling off into his soup?
Roland Orzabal
You have to admire a man who looks like Carrot Top's less-fortunate brother, is named both Roland and Orzabal, and is still successful. Apparently he conquered his fears. Maybe they should've been called Tears for Reflective Surfaces?
Joey Ramone
Hey, I admire him as much as anyone, but he was ugly. The man had no chin, not even a hint of one. It was just neck, then mouth. And it went downhill from there.
Mick Mars
A seemingly endless reservoir of hideous. Always looks like he's been dead since Wednesday, no matter what day it happens to be. His appearances (then and especially now) on the Motley Crue installment of Behind the Music made me want to call my parents and just chat.
Vinnie Vincent
Don't believe me? Watch this. Vinnie is the one who looks like a monkey in a Rick Springfield wig, under the influence of Space Shuttle G-Force.
David Crosby
Bald on top, pube curtains on the sides, a moustache that's almost certainly full of baloney sandwich crumbs, a penchant for hippie clothing, and a body like the Liberty Bell (the crack is where they installed the press-on liver). Nearly the complete package.
Ric Ocasek
Hey Ric, why the long face? Wonder how many times he's heard that one? The man looks like a wax figure in a hot room. I bet even John Kerry mocks him.
Mick Jones
Proof once again that a person can be both unsightly and cool as hell. A musical genius who got short-changed on his earthly container. A classic Euro-Ugly.
Iggy Pop
I know he's kind of old in this Shemp-Howard-on-a-bender pic, but even when he was a youngling Iggy could scare the varnish off a door. And I'm not talking about his ferociousness, either.
Perry Farrell
Just nostrils, tendons, and hair.
Steven Tyler
Apparently the victim of a catastrophic mouth-muscle collapse. Looks like he got drunk one night and tried to stretch his lips all the way around a steering wheel, and the shit never fully snapped back.
Jim Skafish
Skafish Obsessions cover
Obscure? Perhaps. But look at that picture and tell me he doesn't belong on this list. No seriously, take another look at it. As my grandfather would put it, I wish I had his nose full of dimes. And Fantastic Sam's should refund his $8.00 without delay.
Gene Simmons
Don't believe me? Watch this. Gene is the one who looks like Epstein from Welcome Back Kotter after decades of Little Debbie abuse, wearing a leather jumpsuit, and making faces like he'd enjoy nothing more than a good bowel movement.
Bill Berry
Probably wouldn't have made the list if he'd just gone down to Revco and spent 99 cents on a pair of tweezers. One of the richest and most magnificent monobrow pelts in the history of recorded music. There's more wild black hair above his eye sockets than in an entire issue of Penthouse from 1978.
Sonic Youth (Entire Band)
It's quite an accomplishment when every member of a band is ugly, but these guys (and gal) pull it off. It's all Ricks and Bun Es in Sonic Youth, without even a suggestion of Toms or Robins. You've got to admire that.
Shane MacGowan
Pasty, paunchy, perpetually drunk, and with a mouth like somebody stepped on a weak spot and fell through a porch. All hail the king!

Comments (25)

  1. mickimicki says Funny, I think Roland Orzabal is quite cute...
    Permalink posted 12/20/2007
  2. Dale says Sonic Youth?!? Huh? Have they not seen Kim Gordon; she was well hot back in the day.
    Permalink posted 12/20/2007
  3. contrabandwidth says I know I don't agree with all of them, but I had to re-post it anyway...
    Permalink posted 12/20/2007
  4. TroyPowers says Jeez. That dude is FUGLY!
    Permalink posted 12/20/2007
  5. brendanhalpin says Poor Stiv Bators, neglected even in death. Sure, he's no Shane McGowan, but come on--the guy looked like Ric Ocasek's uglier brother. This is an outrage, I say!
    Permalink posted 12/20/2007
  6. jameson says no one on that list comes colse to Shane McGowan. The list should have ended as soon as they came up with his name!
    Permalink posted 12/20/2007
  7. contrabandwidth says I've never seen teeth like that on anyone they haven't exhumed from an archaeological dig. They're so bad they look intentional.
    Permalink posted 12/20/2007
  8. Lizziegreeneyes says rick okasek... married to the most beautiful of models, most hideous to view... heh great post :)
    Permalink posted 12/20/2007
  9. contrabandwidth says Where have you been little Lizzie Lou? I see you realized that it's Christmas too...
    Permalink posted 12/20/2007
  10. Lizziegreeneyes says shopping, spending time with loved-ones, sharing infections with my godson & work kicking my arse. I MISSED YOU GUYS/GALS !!! It's amazing how good it feels to be back. Seriously... I am filled with the spirit o' Christmas... my eyes are green *&* red these days ;)
    Permalink posted 12/20/2007
  11. Lizziegreeneyes says lovin your tag... great good stuff there ;)
    Permalink posted 12/20/2007
  12. contrabandwidth says Make sure you take your godson to the K.of P. mall - they've got the best Santa (real beard and all!)
    Permalink posted 12/20/2007
  13. Lizziegreeneyes says wait till you read my post *T*... you will crack up at the kismet !!!
    Permalink posted 12/20/2007
  14. contrabandwidth says Looking forward to it. Last year my son was like the only kid who smiled on Santa's lap. I'll have to find the pic.
    Permalink posted 12/20/2007
  15. Lizziegreeneyes says Please... you gots to get that one up... just finished the post.... now I have to hunt for the video to go with it ;)
    Permalink posted 12/20/2007
  16. Sturgell says
    Permalink posted 12/20/2007
  17. contrabandwidth says I'd probably drink too...
    Permalink posted 12/20/2007
  18. Sam The Artist says good lord. he must have been run over by a truck full of ugly.
    Permalink posted 12/20/2007
  19. Bartleby says Why rock only? Is it because James Brown says "she's so sexy?"
    Permalink posted 12/20/2007
  20. jameson says Hey can I nominate Jeff Tweedy and Tom Waits?? Hank Jr. and Lyle Lovett??
    Permalink posted 12/20/2007
  21. summer eyes says who knew there were that many blind groupies willing to sleep with gene simmons? maybe he kept the makeup on.
    Permalink posted 12/20/2007
  22. Mike the Knife says Funniest damned post in forever. I haven't laughed this much since I saw "Hot Fuzz."
    Permalink posted 12/21/2007
  23. dermahrk says Mean-spirited and slanderous. In other words, I laughed my ass off!
    Permalink posted 12/21/2007
  24. White and Nerdy says Iggy Pop shouldn't be on the list as he is no man, he's some kinda super-human oddity. I think Shane could probably change his status on the list if he just knocked out those last 4 "teeth" he's got and shave that rug off his face.
    Permalink posted 12/21/2007
  25. dermahrk says Yeah, then if they remake the Beverly Hillbillies again he can put on a dress and play Grannie Clampett.
    Permalink posted 12/22/2007

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