in my day we had to trek through snow to go to a show
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Artist:
Yesterday was an interesting day. I went to go see Authority Zero again last night at a venue 2 and ½ hours away. Two hours before I left my house it started snowing. I am absolutely terrified of snow and I do not normally drive in it, but I bought the tickets and a hotel room for the night so I decided to risk it. Although the snow wasn’t heavy, I live in the land of stupid drivers (on a good day) and saw about 5 accidents within 30 miles. Only one lane was passable and I was starting to really regret my decision as I slipped and slid on the road.Three and ½ hours later I get to Norfolk (really, I’m lucky the snow only added 1 hour to the trip). First stop, the hotel. I get my room and head straight to the bathroom, because 3 and ½ hours can do that to you. That’s when I saw the first roach – but at least that one was dead. Then I did a slip and slide on the greasy bathroom floor. I changed my shirt, brushed my teeth, and headed out to the club. I decided I didn’t want to drive anymore and figured I’d be drunk by the end of the night - so I called a cab. The cabbie shows up and we stop at a gas station so I can get cash to pay her – as soon as I get out of the cab this old dude hollers out to me and tells me he’s not allowed inside and would I buy him beer and a philly blunt. Sadly, I am one of those people who can’t say no so I took his money and bought his stuff. When I got back in the cab, the cabbie is laughing at me. “Girl, don’t you know where you are??? You’re in the hood – you don’t stop for nobody!” Then I just felt stupid, but life goes on.I get to the club and I buy AZ’s new cd and a really sweet shirt then I find the bar and settle in. I’m not one for social settings on a good day and this time I was going completely solo. The combination of my nerves and the fact that it was 35 degrees made me shake like a leaf. Seriously, I’m pretty sure I looked like I had Parkinson’s Disease. That also made me feel stupid. To add to what was turning into a pretty crappy night they didn’t have Mich Ultra so I had to drink Yuengling (or however you spell it.) I tucked myself in the back corner of the bar for the first band. Here, I should explain that I wasn't expecting to go solo. I was actually supposed to meet a fellow mogger for the concert. But, she was held up at work (or she saw that awful one hit wonder video post we were doing Saturday and decided she didn't want to meet me after all, heh.)The first band was Rehab. I have never heard of Rehab and I don’t ever want to hear Rehab again. The music itself wasn’t awful but the singer was. They had that whole rock-rap thing going on – you know, that fad that died a good death a few years ago? But, to give it a special twist Rehab decided to work the nasally voiced redneck rap angle. It was Bubba Sparks (Sparxxs?) meets Uncle Kracker meets jam band. Seriously – these guys even had a hype man. Now granted, he did a good job jumping around on the stage and shaking his ass, he even had some rhythmn. But, he was also pasty, slightly overweight, and wearing a very thin wifebeater. It just wasn’t pretty. Oh, and their last song sampled Crazy Train….and he did the “ay-ay-ay” too….twice.After their set, I wanted to have a cigarette. This is the only friggin club I have ever been to that I couldn’t smoke in. So, outside I went in the 35 degree weather to smoke. Did I mention it was raining? Yep, it was raining. And it sucked.Back inside….I ordered my third beer right before Authority Zero came on. I always order a water when I order a beer, you know – to be responsible and what not. The bartender, who was actually a really nice guy (he took my coat for me at one point so I wouldn’t have to lug it around), teased me and told me it didn’t make any sense to dehydrate and rehydrate at the same time. I realize he was teasing me, but it still made me feel awkward and stupid, given my state of mind after the whole day.When AZ came on I went right to the front of stage and proceeded to scream and jerk around arhythmically – um, because that’s how I dance. I managed to step on the toe of the guy behind me (but I don’t care because he was talking about football while I was trying to listen to music) and scream in the ear of the girl beside me (that I feel a little bad about). See, she shouldn’t have been able to hear me, but the music just wasn’t loud enough. I was 2 feet from the stage – I should have been completely drowned out. I think NorVa’s sound system blows – Jason would banter with the crowd and I could not make out a single word he was saying. It was all “HmmmMmmHmmDmmmm.” The new guy in the band keep screaming “Come on Norfolk, wake up!” That pissed me off, because I strongly believe that if people pay money to see you they can watch you however they fucking want to.I’m not saying the show was bad…it just couldn’t be bad – it was Authority Zero. But, it wasn’t the best show they’ve put on. They played three songs off the new cd, which was cool because since I bought the EP at the last show I was one of the few people at the show who knew the words to at least one. (Which again, I am sure the girl next to me did not appreciate at all.) Afterwards, I went to pay the tab and actually slightly misstepped. I blame this on the fact that I was drinking Yuenling and not my normal brew, but I was once again embarrassed and ready to call it a night. I woke up this morning at the ungodly hour of 7:30 am without the benefit of an alarm clock (which the hotel did not have) because I was so damn uncomfortable. That was when I encountered the living roach. After showering (remind me to soak my feet in alcohol) and washing the greasy hairdryer so that I could touch it without dry heaving I drove the long trip home.As unreasonable as this is, there is a crazy voice in my head that says they should’ve known I made all that effort to see them and they should have done something special for me. Oh wait – I almost forgot one part I wanted to tell y’all. At one point, they actually asked if there were any single girls in the audience who wanted to hook up with their guitar tech that night. I lost massive amounts of respect for them at that moment, because I thought they were about something different. That just was not cool – it was fucking skeevy. Even more skeevy was the sad girl that raised her hand and squealed and tittered. One more beer and I would have projectile vomited on all of them….Anyway, at least the tee shirt kicks ass:
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