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chucky
chucky
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reminiscing...

Posted over 3 years ago
Tonight I decided I wanted to hear Angry Chair on the way home, which lead me to listening to all of Dirt, which reminded me of my senior year in high school.Now, y’all know I’m a dork. I’ve always been a dork, but it took me awhile to embrace that and have fun with it. When I was 17 I was completely in denial. I thought I was bad ass, I was angsty as fuck, and I took myself very, very seriously.This is what I remembered as I revisited Dirt tonight: I remembered locking myself in my room and writing bad poetry with the music blasting. But, even more clearly, I remember listening to Dirt on headphones and whisper/growling along at the dining room table while I did my calculus homework. It never occurred to me how stupid it was to sing with feeling to songs about Heroin abuse because I was stressed out about math problems. The main reason it never occurred to me was because I didn’t actually realize what the hell he was talking about. It was an entire year later when someone explained to me what “horse” was. Ah, good times. (Dork.)
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Comments (38)

  1. rvnlft
    rvnlft says dorks are cool \m/
    Permalink posted 01/04/2007
  2. tybees
    tybees says ??It never occurred to me how stupid it was to sing with feeling to songs about Heroin abuse because I was stressed out about math problems.?? Classic.
    Permalink posted 01/04/2007
  3. chucky
    chucky says :)
    Permalink posted 01/04/2007
  4. YasminGhaliya
    YasminGhaliya says ah yes. teen angst. and yes. dorks are cool. cheers!
    Permalink posted 01/04/2007
  5. mktackabery
    mktackabery says well, maybe not the sharpest knife in the drawer, to not understand what the song was talking about; but I never think it's stupid to identify with the emotions in music chucky. can't help but feel for your messed-up 17-year-old self.
    Permalink posted 01/04/2007
  6. chucky
    chucky says Yasmin :) Hey mktackabery! Naive, maybe but not dumb and not even really messed-up. More the complete lack of messed-up'dness.
    Permalink posted 01/04/2007
  7. tybees
    tybees says This reminds me of being 12 or 13 or so. When I'd get all pubescently upset, I'd shut myself in my room and listen to "Hero" by Mariah Carey over and over. Yeah, HUGE dork!
    Permalink posted 01/04/2007
  8. Dale
    Dale says Calculus at 17?!? You ARE a dork! ;)
    Permalink posted 01/04/2007
  9. fairportfan
    fairportfan says Back in '71, when Commander Cody & his Lost Planet Airmen had something of a corssover hit on country radio with the classic-country-weeper-blues-sounding *Seeds & Stems (Again)*: ...well, my dog died, just yesterday, and left me all alone. the finance comp'ny dropped by today and repossessed my home but that's just a drop in the bucket, gal, compared to losin' you... and i'm down to seeds and stems, again, too..., the rumour was that the country station music directors in less urban markets didn't understand what it was about... (It's a great song, BTW - absolutely perfect; even better than the "perfect country song" that Steve Goodman wrote for David Allen Coe, with the verse that begins "i was drunk the day my momma got out of prison...")
    Permalink posted 01/04/2007
  10. watchbatteries
    watchbatteries says I was going to write a post today about how my Junior year of high school was the turning point of my life, musically and otherwise. Huh. I had the lowest grade in my HS calc class nad almost failed College Algebra (more-or-less0. I'm really not helping the generalization that COMM majors suck at math.
    Permalink posted 01/04/2007
  11. chucky
    chucky says Ty, you totally have me beat with Mariah Carey thing. Haha. Glad to know I have good company in dorksville. :) Dale, I'm a total dork. At one point I was a nerd too - but then my brain cells started dying. fairportfan - as soon as I read those lyrics I wondered if that might be the song that inspired that lame joke about "my dog died, my wife left me, etc."
    Permalink posted 01/04/2007
  12. chucky
    chucky says watchbatteries - post it. I want to read it.
    Permalink posted 01/04/2007
  13. Anonymous says Chucky, are you saying that liking Alice in Chains made you a dork? Because I don't agree. :) (Nor do I agree with Dale about calculus. I was doing calculus at 17, too -- doing it *badly*, mind you, but doing it.
    Permalink posted 01/04/2007
  14. watchbatteries
    watchbatteries says I'll probably post it tomorrow, after I look at car radios, again. That, and this whole thing that revolves around a concert tee, a friend of mine, P2P, and former Governor Mark Warner.
    Permalink posted 01/04/2007
  15. Anonymous says Oops, I forgot half of what I wanted to say, which is that my obsession lately is ranking albums by bands in order of my preference. So for Alice in Chains, mine would be: 1. SAP 2. Facelift 3. Jar of Flies 4. Nothing Safe: Best of the Box 5. Dirt 6. Unplugged 7. Alice in Chains ("Tripod")
    Permalink posted 01/04/2007
  16. chucky
    chucky says No, not liking them. More the whole singing along like I was a little bad ass - except I wasn't a bad ass, I was at home doing my homework like a good little girl. Meanwhile the real badasses were behind the gas station drinking whiskey and getting it on. I am glad I wasn't actually a bad ass, don't get me wrong, but I was a dork for thinking I was a bad ass just because I listened to AIC.
    Permalink posted 01/04/2007
  17. sam9muhr
    sam9muhr says Hahaha... I laugh. I laugh because I relate. I also thought I was pretty kickass listening to my metal music while doing calculus homework. But I was only 17 and doing that last year... And now I'm 18 and do my college trig homework while ROCKING THE F*CK OUT! ...=)
    Permalink posted 01/04/2007
  18. chucky
    chucky says watchbatteries - now I really want to read. Just to see how Mark Warner ties in. Heh. echoes - I only ever really got into Dirt and Don't Follow off Jar of Flies. I think I actually have every AIC album now, but I haven't gotten around to listening to them.
    Permalink posted 01/04/2007
  19. chucky
    chucky says sam, is it possible you are me 13 years ago? Weird, haha. Except you are definitely not a dork.
    Permalink posted 01/04/2007
  20. sam9muhr
    sam9muhr says Possibly! ? Maybe a cool dork... I'm down. And now I'm out... Good night!
    Permalink posted 01/04/2007
  21. Dale
    Dale says OK, maybe calling you out for calculus was a bit harsh. To compensate, I will attempt to break down my dorkiness in one shot. Here goes! At age 17, I: Dropped AP French to take physics and took pre-calc, and aced them both Lettered in wrestling Participated in my school's trivia bowl competition Switched between Cure albums constantly, with maybe a Depeche album to break the cycle. (No joke, it was earth-shattering to my friends if I wasn't listening to one of those two bands.) Read: nerd-jock-geek-goth Survey says: +DORK!+
    Permalink posted 01/04/2007
  22. Smooth Hegemon
    Smooth Hegemon says That is a cute and hilarious story, Chucky. I was also a huge nerd posing as badass (a legend in my own mind, as it were) In highschool I was: On the debate team (I thought foriegn policy was so rawk) Played the cello (Just try to 'air cello' and you look like and even _bigger_ dork Ballet classes 6 days a week (this was actually good for developing party tricks)
    Permalink posted 01/05/2007
  23. chulsmith
    chulsmith says nice. i remember listening to jar of flies in lind hall at the u of mn while doing calculus, too. but i was doing calc 5 homework - and being a huge nerd. too bad i never went into engineering.
    Permalink posted 01/05/2007
  24. Takeshi Kovacs
    Takeshi Kovacs says I was always reading... so I understood the street meaning of most songs, but I was a nerd dork on the outside, so I'd explain the songs to my older sister so she'd meet cute friends, then I'd have my pick.
    Permalink posted 01/05/2007
  25. kat3260
    kat3260 says _"I'm a dull boy, work all day, oh So I'm strung out [on calculus] anyway"_ I loved AiC in high school, and I was in the nerd squad until senior year, when I turned to drugs and hung out with the "bad-asses". I still managed to pass my calculus class that year, somehow...I wish I had just stayed a dork, though. Drugs are bad, mmmkay?
    Permalink posted 01/05/2007
  26. lemontwist
    lemontwist says When I was 17 I was completely in denial. I thought I was bad ass, I was angsty as fuck, and I took myself very, very seriously. This is a great post Chucky. I can relate to everything 100%...
    Permalink posted 01/05/2007
  27. deanajean
    deanajean says i heart math.
    Permalink posted 01/05/2007
  28. deanajean
    deanajean says i heart math. and not being angsty as fuck anymore.
    Permalink posted 01/05/2007
  29. deanajean
    deanajean says i heart math! 'angsty as fuck' is now my phrase of the day. thanks chucky.
    Permalink posted 01/05/2007
  30. chucky
    chucky says Dale, hahaha. You were all kinds of dork. Heh. SH, air cello? That actually sounds pretty awesome. Haha. chulsmith, calc 5? My brain just exploded. Ugh. I didn't make it past 2. Technically I didn't make it past 1, because I failed calc 2 twice in college before I gave up on that. tak, that is devious. :) kat, yep - just say no. aj, awesome. Nice to know it wasn't just me. :) deanajean, I must definitely do not heart math. But I do heart not being angsty as fuck anymore. And use the phrase with my blessing. :)
    Permalink posted 01/05/2007
  31. mktackabery
    mktackabery says hey chucky, I didn't mean to imply you were dumb or messed up, just that I was empathetic. When you explained "un-messed-up" I gotcha. ;-)
    Permalink posted 01/05/2007
  32. Kid Charming
    Kid Charming says I was a little messed-up badass when I was 17, but all my messed-up friends were listening to West-Coast punk, and I was listening to things like Gene Loves Jezebel, Ultra Vivid Scene, and Lloyd Cole's first solo album — markedly un-badass stuff.
    Permalink posted 01/05/2007
  33. ROCKNROLLPIMP1
    ROCKNROLLPIMP1 says you cannot rate a greastest hits in order of how you like that is ABSURD like a turd in PIMP WORLD see pimp's top ten all time erm although it was jar of flies that resonates with my soul cause "94 was a year in hell "92 was probably my "peak" year of drug addiction fuggin awesome stuff
    Permalink posted 01/05/2007
  34. chucky
    chucky says mktacabery - no worries. :) kid - so, you were my mirror opposite. Haha, love it. pimp - you better play nice over here buddy. ;) Mwah.
    Permalink posted 01/05/2007
  35. Sweetbro
    Sweetbro says at least you were self-aware enough to be angsty. I was too busy being stressed out with calc etc to be angsty. Of course, I also listened to music that we do not speak of. by the way, your post reminded me of how I didn't know that "Crash" by DMB was about masturbation until college. Or that Green Day's "Welcome to Paradise" was also... I was way more sheltered and nerdy. :)
    Permalink posted 01/06/2007
  36. chucky
    chucky says Wait - Crash is about masturbation? Really? I thought it was about sex, but - ok - I think I get it now. Jeez, I'm sooo slow sometimes. Heh. You listened to music that we do not speak of? But, now we must....I have to hear this. :)
    Permalink posted 01/06/2007
  37. jbrow103
    jbrow103 says angry chair is what got me into alice - it's still my favorite
    Permalink posted 01/09/2007
  38. chucky
    chucky says Angry Chair is my favorite too although Don't Follow is a close second.
    Permalink posted 01/09/2007

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