From Sweaters to Snuggies: The Best and Worst of Weezer
-
Artist:
-
Album:
by brittanybf and drewfonts
Let's get it out of the way now: Weezer will never be better than Blue (or critic pick Pinkerton). Thirteen years ago, their sweaters came un-did, giving way to half-assed rap 'party' songs...Who saw that comin'? While parts of their latest album actually impressed us, that doesn't mean much. Prior to Raditude, it's been a good four albums of mediocrity from the band. Still, it's not all bad. Lest we forget that Weezer still know how to crank out some serious good pop-rock, we've compiled a list of their best (and worst) songs from the post-Pinkerton discography. Behold, the album they SHOULD have released, and the album that should be banished for all eternity.
Best of Tracklist:
1. "Perfect Situation" (Make Believe)
The old, familiar Rivers Cuomo pops up for an all-too-brief appearance on Make Believe--insecure, a little self-loathing, and gloriously catchy.
2. "The Damage in Your Heart" (Make Believe)
Weezer grind out the tears and heartache, through Cuomo's occasional falsetto vocals.
3. "Heart Songs" (Red Album)
Some of the lyrics are questionable, but this acoustic ballad is a staple kind of Weezer tune that makes you want to cuddle up in a snuggie with them.
4. "Pork and Beans" (Red Album)
That Pinkerton kid finds the good life in self-acceptance and a swing-for-the-fences chorus.
5. "Dope Nose" (Maladroit)
"For the times that you wanna go and bust rhymes real slow/I'll appear, slap you on the face and enjoy the show." If only Cuomo had remembered these wise lines when constructing the party-rap monstrosity of "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived."
6. "Don't Let Go" (Green Album)
A shiny rush of pop to set off the Green Album. It's addressed to a girl, but was it really a plea to the fans?
7. "Photograph" (Green Album)
Rivers serves up his best pep talk over hand-claps and Pat Wilson's drum pounds.
8. "Island in the Sun" (Green Album)
Wherein Cuomo eases off the distortion pedal, turns on the charm and pens Weezer's most universal song.
9. "Smile" (Green Album)
Over fuzzed out guitars, Rivers gives us one of his best vocal performances rooted in misery
10. "Keep Fishin'" (Maladroit)
Call and response, a bouncing beat, Rivers singing about hearts on shelves. Sounds like a recipe for a good, old-fashioned Weezer sing-along!
11. "December" (Maladroit)
Cuomo's love of doo-wop fifties and Beach Boys ballads meets guitar fuzz for a heartfelt slow-dance.
12. "I'm Your Daddy" (Raditude)
Give Rivers a drum machine to start the track and he'll turn it into a song for his "baby." Next thing you know you're actually dancing to this.
Worst of Weezer:
1. "We Are All on Drugs" (Make Believe)
Cautionary tale? Edgy irony-fest? Either way, the title says all you need to know.
2. "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived" (Red Album)
The pretty melody lifted from a Shaker hymn takes a prog-rock posturing trip across 13 different arrangements, most of them pretty bad.
3. "American Gigalo" (Maladroit)
"If you hate this, I can't blame you." 'Nuff said.
4. "Burndt Jamb" (Maladroit)
A bizarre, off-the-wall groove that feels totally out of place on the riffage-heavy Maladroit. Plus, the guitarwork on the verses is an unabashed thievery of George Benson's "Breezin'".
5. "Hash Pipe" (Green Album)
It's probably about a transvestite prostitute. It's definitely the first song in the Weezer catalog that could rightfully be called idiotic.
6. "Crab" (Green Album)
From the eloquent desire and sexual frustration of "Only in Dreams" and "Tired of Sex", how did we end up with "Crab at the booty/t'aint gonna do no good"?
7. "My Best Friend" (Make Believe)
A whiny, forced anthem for all the BFF's out there.
8. "Freak Me Out" (Make Believe)
Proof that every run-in with a homeless person doesn't need to turn into a song.
9. "Beverly Hills" (Make Believe)
At first blush, it's Cuomo taking lyrical potshots at celebrity. Then you remember they shot the music video at the Playboy Mansion, and irony switches seats with hypocrisy.
10. "This is Such a Pity" (Make Believe)
Weezer attempts new wave with Rick Rubin producing instead of Ric Ocasek. Disaster ensues.
11. "Cold Dark World" (Red Album)
Handing off a creepy-sounding song to your bassist isn't always a bad thing, but Scott Shriner is no Gene Simmons.
12. "Love is the Answer" (Raditude)
Sitars and a Bollywood songstress? You'll only want to hear this once for the =w=tf factor.
Comments (15)
The Blue album is a great sing-a-long to album in the car but Pinkerton will always be my all time fave. One or two songs were okay after Blue but then and there was a clue to everyone how horrible they have become.
Oh, how the mighty have fallen. If weezer can't take themselves seriously anymore, neither will i. I will pretend that Perfect Situation is a b-side from the pinkerton era and forget that everything else happened.
Great review - like the tracklisting. Just d/l the new one for $3.99 on amazon. Now I know what song(s) is/are good...and which one(s) to avoid...
hahaha! I was going down the best of list looking for Hash Pipe. thats weird it didn't make the cut/ OH! wait, there it is, on the worst of! :)
Agreed - please add this band to the "jumped the shark" category.
Also agree -
"Dope Nose" (Maladroit)
"For the times that you wanna go and bust rhymes real slow/I'll appear, slap you on the face and enjoy the show."
Great lyrics - even more killer tune!
Ta for this guide, my better half heard a song on the radio that turned out to be Weezer and we now know were to start our collection.
I love The Greatest Man That Ever Lived - it's Weezer's take on arena rock! :)
Yet another review concerned with the lyrics instead of the music. If lyrics are so important, then books on tape might be more suitable. Weezer continuously offers well structured tunes and there is an undeniable groove with this band.
"smile" is definitely one of their best, good choice
I love Burndt Jamb, otherwise right on.
haha this is brilliant! and sadly true. however i was fine with green as it, though a tad short.
k i just burned my version, and named it 'the plaid album'
im so freakin clever.
The Plaid Album!!! Hah! I love it. Did you burn the worst of too?
oh no no no. didnt want to waste a blank disc. ;)
Hahah, truth!