MOG

Gorillaz aspire to be the greatest cartoon band of all time. Of course, there is serious competition for the crown. For decades now, the Archies have sat atop the cartoon mountain surveying the competition. Yes, they really only produced one great single, but what a single it was. (What a tragic irony that the love triangle in the band both fueled their art and also rent the band asunder.) "Sugar Sugar" is a perfect pop song, and the yardstick against which all cartoon rock must be measured.

Naturally, you can't discuss cartoon music without also mentioning Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids. Though they never charted, their brand of pop-funk only gets better with age, and they have proven hugely influential on the 3D musicians who came after them. Their musical achievements are all the more remarkable given that they were playing such junkyard instruments as an old bed frame and a radiator fitted with some sort of bellows. (I think the influence on Tom Waits is self-evident.) Sure, they were didactic, but so were KRS-One and Chuck D! Tragically, Fat Albert's obesity led to inevitable health problems that have since prevented the band from performing. Today it's doubtful Morbidly Obese Albert, as he's currently known, could even lift a radiator, much less coax some funky music from it.

Gorillaz, thus far, have produced a few irresistible (if sub-"Sugar Sugar" quality) hook-happy singles, and albums filled out with, well, filler. Considering, it seems an act of colossal hubris, perhaps motivated by a more than casual interest in the cartoon band crown, for Gorillaz to release a collection of B-sides and remixes. For even the greatest bands, the B-side collection is a throwaway. Obsessive fans usually have the B-sides anyway, and everyone else could care less. (Exception: Prince's B-side collection contains both "Erotic City" and "She's Always in My Hair," and is fantastic.)

Disc one of Gorillaz' D-Sides is the B-sides disc. Despite my best efforts, the tracks on this disc keep slipping from my mind. They're just that forgettable. I seem to recall that it begins with a pleasant if unremarkable instrumental, and somewhere in there is a track called "Hong Kong," which starts as a really interesting fusion of traditional Chinese music and whatever one calls Gorillaz' music, but quickly devolves into a sad, lengthy dirge. Otherwise, after four listens, I cannot remember anything about the B-sides disc. I suppose that indicates that the songs are not horrible, but neither are they very good ... kind of like the filler tracks on a regular Gorillaz album.

Ah, but then we come to the remix disc. At least we're on familiar ground here, as the songs being remixed are, mostly, the catchy hit singles. (Though, really, do we need three remixes of "Kids With Guns"?)

Nonetheless, we have a problem. The hit singles are hits in large part because of the way the parts of the songs were assembled. Taking the songs apart and reassembling them tends, in most cases, to dilute their appeal ... or wreck it all together. The disc opens with the twelve-and-a-half minute (!) dfa remix of "Dare," which is fine, really, until the dental drill sound kicks in at about five-and-a-half minutes. Perhaps if one is chemically altered and on a dance floor, this sort of thing is appealing. As I was in neither condition, it just reminded me of getting a filling. The standout track is the live version of "Feel Good, Inc." which closes the disc, and which stands out because it sounds pretty much like the original.

I wish Gorillaz luck in their quest to dethrone the Archies, but D-Sides is a detour on the path to greatness. For obsessive fans only.